Gohan and Videl: Love Match
by ghstwrtr
Summary: Slight A/U: No Buu. A tournament is being held. The prize: Videl Satan's hand in marriage. But with Videl determined to unmask Saiyaman, and Hercule's ongoing problems with his big mouth, nothing good can be in store for our poor Gohan.
1. Prologue: The Cell Games

Disclaimer: The Author owns nothing except the plot. Maybe some OCs if they come up.

Author's Note: I'm assuming that everyone reading this already knows about "The Gold Fighter" and "Saiyaman", so I'm just going to skip right to the tournament, except that there is no Buu, it isn't the WMT but a personal one set up by Hercule (more later), and Videl still has no idea who Saiyaman is.

Prologue: The Cell Games

Gohan and Cell had each just launched their final attacks, and all that was left to do was to wait and see who could overcome whom. In the meantime, the rest of the Z-fighters were expending what little energy they had left in the hopes of weakening Cell, or at least distracting him enough to give Gohan his chance. But they were just too drained, and Cell easily pushed them back with a blast of ki-enhanced wind.

Unknown to any of them, however, the prince of all Saiyans was on his feet. His son was dead, taken from him by Cell. His greatest rival had, without a thought, sacrificed his own life to save his friends, to save _him_. _Kakarot_, Vegeta thought, _so this is where you get your strength, from the love and desire to protect your family. You even tried to save me, when in your place I would have let you die. Well, I can't help you now, but maybe I can help your son_. With that, he powered up to supersaiyan, determined to give everything he had left to help Gohan.

Gohan, in the meanwhile, was fighting a losing battle. He'd already used up much of his energy when he'd forced Cell to cough up Android 18, and now Cell was back to full strength, while Gohan's strength was fading quickly. The ring of blue that separated Cell's ki blast from his own was slowly edging its way closer to him, and Gohan knew that once it reached him, it was all over. The ground was cracking apart with the force of their attacks. Gohan could feel his friends, knew their energy was spent, and that they couldn't help him anymore. Suddenly, in the corner of his senses, he felt a ki energy powering up, powering even higher than any of his friends had before. _Who is that?_ Gohan wondered. _It almost feels like_…

Cell was laughing hysterically. He'd won, he could feel Gohan weakining, knew that in only a few minutes the only threat to his domination would be forever gone. So focused was he on his task that he failed to notice what Gohan had until a strong ball of energy hit him in the back. His concentration broken, he stared up into the sky at … it couldn't be … "Vegeta!", Cell cried out, surprised that the Saiyan Prince was even still alive. _Blast it, why didn't I finish him off_?

Goku, up with King Kai, had felt Vegeta power up, and had felt the ki blast and how it had distracted Cell. _Vegeta_, he thought, _Thank you_, and yelled into Gohan's mind, "Now's your chance!"

Gohan, his confidence revitalized after his father's words, reached deep inside, deeper than he ever thought possible, and with one final defiant scream, unleashed all of the Ki his body held into his attack. Soon the line of blue was back in the center, then it went past, and instead became a wave of energy that started engulfing the form of Cell. Gohan began determinedly walking forward, pushing the ki blast closer to Cell, step by step.

Cell could feel the waves wash over him, could fell his body start to disintegrate, and for the first time, realized that he was losing, and that there was nothing he could do about it. With a final defiant yell, Cell's body began to evaporate, and without him resisting, Gohan was easily able to direct the flow of ki energy towards what remained. The remains of the blast and what was left of Cell were lauched deep into space, the excess energy continuing to destroy the last remaining particles of what was once the greatest threat humanity had ever faced. The Z fighters were left staring at a giant crater in the ground; as Gohan's strength gave out and he floated gently to the ground to collapse. In his last conscious moments before exhaustion finally overcame him, Gohan heard his father's voice, "Gohan, I'm so proud of you."


	2. 7 Years Later: 1st Day of Highschool

7 years later

First day at School:

"Oh great," Gohan Son sighed as he looked at his watch. "I'm already running late for my first day at school." Within a few hours of defeating Cell, Chichi had declared that Gohan was officially done with martial arts and now had to focus every ounce of energy on his studies. After all, though she loved her husband more than anything, Chichi would be the first to admit that he wasn't the brightest person in the world, and only over her dead body would her son turn out like his father. So, while Gohan still managed to get training in on a regular basis (how could he not, with most of the Z-fighters still wanting to stay in shape, and of course, Vegeta and his 15-hour a day sessions in the Gravity Room. Bulma was always complaining that Vegeta never took out the trash, watched Trunks (unless he was training of course), took her out anywhere, or any of the things that a "normal" (here Vegeta mentally insterted "weakling") husband did for his wife.

As a result of the training, though, Gohan had developed an extremely muscular body, which fortunately enough for him was still slender enough that his school uniform (white shirt with black vest and khaki pants, along with the school badge) hid most of his definition from people. Chichi had made sure he understood that the last thing any of them needed was questions that could lead to media attention. Chichi hated the news media, having been convinced after the Cell Games (after all, there was a camera crew there) that all the media in the world was in the pockets of rich celebrities and glory-hounds like (Hack, cough, cough) The Champ, Hercule Satan.

Just then, Gohan noticed a buch of criminals with machine guns firing at police officers who were hiding behind their cruiser. He relized that there were bystanders in the way and that someone could get hurt. Transforming into a supersaiyan in order not to be recognized, he quickly took care of the criminals and his behind the bushes to return to normal. Gohan was about to head to school when he turned and … "Gah!" he said, or something like it. He'd almost smacked his face into the chest of a girl about his age. She was wearing white T-shirt that looked a bit big on her, and short black shorts. Her black hair was pulled into two ponytails held by gold clips, and she had the same school badge Gohan had.

"You! Tell me now, what happened here."

_Man, she's scary-looking, almost like my mother_. "Uh, I bent down to tie my shoe and I guess I wasn't looking," Gohan finished lamely while noticing that she'd already stopped payng attention to him as the cops were heading towards her. While she was distracted, Gohan made a quick escape.

Gohan just barely made it to class before the bell rang, and the teacher asked him to wait outside while she introduced him to everyone. She asked him to take a seat anywhere he liked, and as he started to walk up towards the back when he noticed a girl in one of the rows waving her hands and indicating a spot next to her. He smiled and started to move in her direction. It was then he noticed that next to her were a guy with surfer-blonde hair who looked like he was trying to decide wether to pet his biceps or kiss them, and … oh great, the girl from a few minutes ago. And it was obvious that she recognized him too, or maybe she just glared at everyone that way.


	3. The Prize

The Prize

3 months later

"Whew," Saiyaman said as he'd just finished saving a child and mother from drowning. "Man, I'm getting real popular." Just the other day he'd run across what he thought was a woman who needed saving from a car crash when he found out he was in the middle of the set for the Saiyaman Movie. Even now, when he was trying to rescue a mother and her boy, the boy had had the presence of mind to pull out a camera and start taking pictures of Saiyaman as they were flying through the air, while the mother (who couldn't have been over 25) was trying to finagle a "Rendezvous" out of the town's newest crimefighter. Managing somehow to extricate himself from a sticky situation, Gohan managed to make it to school on time for once.

When he got there, he was amazed to see most of the guys staring at one of several brightly colored posters that must have just been posted up last night. Figuring it was a school dance or some other function which Gohan had NO intention whatsoever of attending, he strolled into class. Gohan assumed that he'd be late again. However, he was only half-right. All of the girls seemed to be in their seats, but none of the guys were in class yet. Even the teacher, who was a man, hadn't shown up. Gohan figured that they were all outside somewhere staring at one of those posters, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. The only thing that would keep him out of class, he decided, would be an all-you-could-eat buffet lunchon. I mean, what could be more important in life than food. Mmmm … just thinking about food was making him hungry, and, grabbing a cracker out of the box in his bookbag, he proceeded to much away happily.

Videl Satan, meanwhile, was also thinking about those posters, but in a much less happy way. For the thousandth time in the last week she wished she were anyone but Hercule Satan's daughter. She couldn't believe her dad would do this, THIS, to her. Apparently her mother (a now deceased heiress who was almost as rich as Bulma Briefs), knowing her time was short, had rewritten her will shortly before her death. It stated clearly that if Videl wasn't in a relationship that her father thought would lead to marriage by her senior year in high school, then her father was to arrange a marriage with the most eligible bachelor possible. Of course as we know, Hercule Satan was not the type to encourage those types of relationships. Rolling her eyes at the through, she replayed her father's "talk" to her about dating. _I forbid it. You find a boy that's stronger than me, and then maybe, and I mean maybe_ … Oohh, there were times when she wished she was strong enough to take out her dad, and "then maybe" he'd start to treat her like she wasn't twelve anymore. So, now that the dreaded time appointed by the will was here, she knew Hercule would stage this thing, beat everyone to a pulp, and keep doing it every few years until someone could actually beat him. Which, with Videl's luck, would be 20 years from now. 

She was pulled out of her reverie by an unwanted arm around her shoulders, followed by the last voice she wanted to hear.

"Hey, babe, looks like your dad finally came to his senses. Tell you what, you can name the first place we go out to after I win the tournament."

Videl calmly wrapped her wrist around Sharpner's forearm and flung him into the chalkboard, where he collapsed unconscious with a thud. Ugh, at least when this thing was over, whoever won would be able to kill Sharpner for her. Hell, she may even be able to get the guy set up for murder, and get rid of both the baka and the unwanted husband in one shot.

Videl liked to think of herself as someone who could meet any challenge, but the challenges of marriage and parenthood were by far the scariest she'd ever encountered. I mean, what would her new husband be like, if he could beat her father? Probably some muscle-brained egomaniac like Hercule. She sighed. Videl knew she was strong, but she also prided herself on her top marks and on her general knowledge of many things. Videl liked to debate things with people and argue her points, something she did often in class (when she was there); she had little doubt that anyone who could beat her father would probably have the IQ of a mountain-gorilla. Heck, he'd have to _be_ a mountain gorilla to have a realistic shot. No, she kenw what this was. Just a way for her daddy to make sure that his little girl never left him. In some weird way, she was almost hopeful that a man would defeat her father, if only to take him down a peg or two.

Again deep in thought, her eyes snapped back to the door when Sharpner said, "Hey, nerd boy, when was the last time you ate, a month ago?" Videl looked at Gohan Son, who'd stopped halfway through eating the last cracker in the full box he'd brought to school. The Son boy blushed slightly as he finished his last cracker, and then turned his attention back to the teacher. Videl sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Gohan Son. One of her big three enigmas. Since the first week of school, she'd made it her priorities to a) find out who the Gold Fighter was, b) unmask that jerk Saiyaman, and most importantly 3) find out how Gohan managed to get to and from school without a jet copter.

She didn't know why but every time she thought of Gohan, she'd start to get warm and tingly inside. It couldn't be that she liked him; he was not bad-looking, maybe a shade on the scrawny side, and even if he wasn't even as strong as Sharpner, he didn't look like too much of a weakling. She could even deal with the fact that he was the only kid in the entire school weird enough to abide by the school's non-mandatory dress code. But still, he was an enigma, and he kept secrets, and if there was one thing that Videl couldn't stand it was puzzles. If there were two things, they were puzzles and liars. Gohan, she was sure, was both. So no, she didn't like him, even though he was very polite, patient when people asked him for help, respected everyone, and was even kind to animals (she'd once caught him giving part of his lunch to some hungry magpies that were nearby). Surprisingly, she found herself wishing that whoever won the tournament had a personality like Gohan's. But it couldn't be Gohan, because even though she couldn't prove it, Videl knew he was a liar. A cute liar, but still, a liar.

"So nerd boy, I take it you aren't going to enter the tournament."

"What tournament is that, Sharpner?"

"You dunce, haven't you seen any of the signs posted around school? Mr. Satan is hosting his own tournament, and the winner gets Videl's hand in marriage, not to mention all of the Satan family fortune."

Videl was blushing, expecting Gohan to start laughing like some of her other friends had when they found out. Looking over at him, she was surprised to find that he was staring at her with one of the most earnest looks anyone had ever given her in her life.

"Well Videl, I guess I don't understand why you'd want to find a husband that way, but whatever happens, I hope you find someone great. You deserve it."

Damn him, why couldn't he just have stayed a cute liar.


	4. Chichi, You Cannot Be Serious!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story

Author's Note: If anyone has a problem with the length of the chapters (i.e. you think their too short) please let me know. I feel that they are, but I'm trying to get chapters out in an orderly fashion so I'm not stuck here a month from now still working on this. There's (hypothetically) going to be a total of 24 chapters in the story, if that helps.

Chichi, You Cannot Be Serious! Or Hercule Satan's Big Mouth

(A.K.A. I Think, I'll Watch, Too)

After successfully avoiding the 67th attempt by Videl to figure out how he got to and from school, Gohan took off and landed at his house, where he was immediately set upon by a six-year old ball of pure ki begging him to play. He didn't have much homework, so he spent the next hour playing hide-and-seek with Goten before going inside to take care of his physics. He'd been doing it since he was 5, anyway, and it only took him a few minutes.

Gohan was just settling down to dinner when the sound of the TV interrupted him. Chichi hated television, but the 50 inch plasma screen with high-definition and surround sound audio was a gift from Bulma, and Chichi never turned away gifts, especially from good friends. "We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you the most important news of the decade. Again! Videl Satan, the daughter of the legendary Hercule Satan, the slayer of the tyrant Cell, the savior of the Earth, the greatest martial artist ever born … is offering her hand in marriage to the winner of a special tournament hosted just before the regularly scheduled 26th World Martial Arts Tournament. And here is the legend himself to speak on his and his daughter's behalf."

(Here we see "The Great" Hercule Satan try one of his patented flip attacks, miss, fall, and then get up like it was a joke… yeah right, hehehe)

"Well, um, thanks, announcer guy, thingy. Wahahahahahahahah! Oh, yeah! Loyal supporters and fans, it is I, your Hercule, the one who defeated Cell and saved the world 7 years ago. Yes, it's true, I've decided to host my own tournament this year, but unlike the World Martial Arts Tournament, only those I invite (an unidentified leg kicks him in the shin), ahem, that is, I _or_ my daughter invite, will be allowed to enter. The winner will get a special opportunity to face me, the world champion, in the ring, and if he can manage to stay in the ring with me for more than thirty minutes, then I deem him strong enough to wed my daughter. I originally made the rules so that the winner would have to knock me out, but then I remembered, nobody can knock me out! As Videl reminded me herself, neither of us is getting any younger, so I thought it best if she has grandkids as soon as possible, you know, so that way …" at this point an arm grabbed him and pulled him away from the screen. _I'd know that arm anywhere_, though Gohan with a laugh, _Videl_.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Gohan's eyes snapped up as Hercule returned to the screen. "All the previous WMT champions who're still alive are invited either to participate or as guests; that is, except for all those fake martial artists with their light tricks and smoke bombs. And none of those golden-haired weirdos from the Cell games should show up, either. I saved your butts once, and there's no way any of _you_ can get a shot at _my_ daughter."

_Whew, that'll teach those guys to stay away_, thought Hercule, _the last thing I need is for them to start showing up and claiming credit for Cell's demise. In fact, if they show up, I'm gonna make them thank me for dealing with all the money, fame, fortune, and media attention over the last 7 years and saving them a headache. Yeah, that's what I'll do._

"Oh, man, what a ham!" Gohan started to laugh.

Goten, who was happily slurping away at the last of his dinner, took a break long enough to ask, "Hey, Ni-chan, what did the funny man mean about light tricks and smoke bombs? Does that mean you can teach me how to make smoke appear?"

Chichi, who now had a vain on her forehead the size of Kilimanjaro, slammed her fist onto the table hard enough to make the wood crack. She wasn't the Ox King's daughter and the wife of the greatest hero Earth had ever seen for nothing. "That's it, I've had enough of that man! It's bad enough he has to take all the credit for my son's victory, but now he's insulting my dead husband. Gohan," she 

turned to her eldest, "You are competing in that tournament, and you will win, otherwise I'm giving Goten all of your food for two months! Is that clear?"

"Yay, I get all of Ni-chan's food!"

"But mom –"

"No buts. After your homework is done, you are going to do double your normal training. Or else no breakfast. Got it?"

Unbeknownst to the Son family, five other groups of people had also heard the news reports, and what Hercule said. If the "Funny Man" wasn't in trouble before, he sure was in for it now.

"Eh, what! Why that loudmouth good-for-nothing old man," said one bald old Turtle Hermit. "How dare he insult one of my finest students like that. He's shaming the entire Turtle School of Marital Arts."

"Uh, you mean martial arts, Roshi?" said one no longer bald short man while his blonde wife and their daughter watched on.

"Why yes, yes, I know what I'm sayin', whaddaya take me for, a senile old codger?"

(Meanwhile, on Kami's Lookout…)

_How dare he_, thought one aggravated Super-Namek. _Goku gave his life for this planet, and the rest of us nearly gave our own as well, and that buffoon sits here gleefully soaking up all of the glory. Argh. I even had to learn how to drive! And this is the thanks I get?_

Dende had learned early on to stay out of Piccolo's way when he was in this kind of mood. He just hoped Mr. Popo didn't hear any of this and come out to "soothe" people. Kami knew what that could lead to.

(In a random bar)

"What did you say about Goku you slimy, arrogant, bast –"

"Yamcha, get a hold of yourself!" Tien, Chaoutzu, and Puar were all straining to hold a drunken baseball star as he raged at the infomercial appearing every five minutes, although all three of them felt like doing the same thing. This just couldn't be tolerated.

(You knew it was coming)

"Woman, where does this loudmouth Satan live? I think it's time he was paid a visit by the Prince of all Saiyans."

"What are you blathering about, Vegeta." Honestly, it wasn't that Bulma was never annoyed by her husband, but it was just that half the time she didn't even understand what he was saying. All he ever talked about was fighting and food, so whenever the subject was different, she tended to miss it.

"That Satan clown has just insulted Kakarot. Only _I_ can insult Kakarot. No weak, pathetic human deserves to lick the grime from our boots. I nearly gave my life to get rid of Cell. I watched my son and my greatest rival die before my eyes, spent hours of training under incredible strain, and this idiot acts like he's the strongest fighter in the universe? Not while I'm around."

At the same instant, members of all four residences decided to pay the Son family a visit. While we can't know if it was divine intervention or not (Dende had developed a bit of a spine in the last 7 years, but come on, Piccolo was scary _before_ he decided it was time to retire and become a cranky old Namek), the one thing we can be sure of was that it couldn't possibly have been King Kai's work, because at that very moment he was helping another great warrior come to terms with the gift he'd been given.

"Wow, a whole week on Earth. Gohan and Chichi will be thrilled! And I'll finally get to meet Goten! Are you sure about this rule, King Kai?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, everyone who saves a planet at least five times gets the right to come back to their home planet for one week of their choosing."

"Wow. Hm, I wonder what day I should go back?"

_Well I wish you'd go back sooner rather than later so I can finally stock up on some serious food without having to worry about you eating it all, homewrecker_, thought the Kai.

Goku wasn't paying attention so he missed the change in King Kai's demeanor. All he was thinking about was that he'd finally get to see his family again after all this time and … "Hey, a TV. Alright, I didn't know you had one King Kai."

"Just got it yesterday."

Goku turned to some Earth stations and was absentmindedly flipping through some channels when he came across one of the advertisements for the Hercule Tournament that would be held in a few months' time. "Hey, King Kai, if I go back, would I be allowed to watch a tournament with living people?"

"Yes, only those who know you are dead and have come back will be able to recognize that you're different from others."

Goku smiled when he heard the announcement of the tournament winner's grand prize. Though he'd been doing nothing but training for the past 7 years, being dead hadn't stopped him from watching his family live on without him. His two boys may have been growing up without him, but it didn't make him feel any less connected to them. After watching his eldest play superhero and his interactions with one Videl Satan, Goku had a very strong sense about where their relationship was heading.

(Back at the Son Residence)

"But mom, what if someone recognizes me from the Cell Games and puts two and two together? Then where will we be?"

"Gohan, I won't hear any more. You're finished your homework, now get to training right now!" Chichi was at this very moment taking a few practice swings with her favorite frying pan, and Gohan wasn't even sure that going out to train would save him from the fearsome weapon.

Just then the doorbell rang, and Gohan went to answer it. He opened to door to … reveal the rest of the Z-Fighters, who wasted no time in pushing their way inside. All of them started talking at once, their volume increasing to the point where Gohan had to cover his ears to keep from going deaf.

"WHAT ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE SHOUTING ABOUT IN MY HOUSE", Chichi's voice drowned out everything else. She appeared before them with frying pan brandished, causing everyone present to wince. "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED ALL OF YOU?"

_Damn _thought Vegeta, _Somehow I'd forgotten about Kakarot's banshee of a wife_.

"Well, it's like this," Krillen began, but was beaten to the finish by 18.

"We've all decided that Gohan needs to compete in Hercule's tournament."

"I know, I saw _something _about it on TV." Chichi gritted her teeth and cracked her knuckles remembering what Hercule had said about her Goku. "But remember this: Gohan's studies must come first."

"But Chichi," said Roshi, "If Gohan wins, he'll have the opportunity to knock out Hercule in front of the whole world. Then everyone will see what a windbag he really is."

"Ha. The loudmouth will finally get what's coming to him. He deserves it after the way he's disrespected Kakarot over the years." While Vegeta had a very strange relationship with Goku, the one thing he'd always understood was that as the last two survivors of the Saiyan race, they had to stick together, and that meant defending each other.

"Besides," whispered Bulma conspiratoraly, "The prize might just be worth it." She handed Chichi a flyer.

"Prize?" And then, "Grandbabies!"

"Does this mean that the Funny Man's daughter is gonna be my new sister?" Goten never understood much about grown-up business, but he prided himself on being able to remember the most important things. And besides, he thought the Funny Man's daughter was almost as cool as Gohan. He'd watched her sometimes in TV whenever the news came on about his big brother saving somebody else, since she always seemed to be helping Gohan out.

Gohan sweatdropped. He was doomed. Just then, he heard a voice he thought he'd never here again. _I think watching you win this tournament would be one of the proudest moments of my life, Gohan_. It couldn't be …

"Dad?" Gohan queried. Among the others, only Piccolo and Vegeta were capable of hearing the voice.

"Kakarot? Is that you?"

_Yes, Vegeta, it's me. I found out that I get to come back for a whole week, since I saved the Earth so many times. And I couldn't imagine a better time to come back than the one where my son gets to fight in the most important tournament of his life_.

"Well, after he's done, Kakarot, then perhaps we can arrange a little spar of our own. It's been too long."

_Sure. Tell everyone that I'm coming back, for a whole week_.

Gohan started laughing in an almost maniacal sort of way. When his dad first died, he really didn't think too much of it after the initial shock. After all, he'd watched Krillin, Piccolo, Yamcha, Tien, Chouzu, Vegeta, and Trunks all get killed, and all of them were eventually brought back with the dragonballs in no more than a few months. But after a year, and then two, of his father not being around, Gohan found himself really contemplating what it meant to be dead and gone for the first time in his life. And now, after resigning himself to wait until he died before getting a chance to see his dad again, Gohan was suddenly blessed with the opportunity to have Goku back for an entire week. Gohan was also very happy for his mother and little brother. It had been so hard for Chichi to lose her husband and find herself the mother of two saiyan eating machines within the matter of a few months, and it was getting harder for Gohan to tell Goten stories about their dad that he hadn't already heard a million times from himself, Chichi or one of their friends.

The only problem for Gohan was that he absolutely, under no circumstances, wanted to enter as himself. He knew that Videl would be there, and if he even won a single round she'd start following him everywhere and asking questions until his ears fell off.


	5. Saiyaman's Suckered into a Tournament

Saiyaman's Suckered into a Tournament: Again!

or More Publicity

Note: I have been debating as to whether this chapter belongs after its predecessor, or whether it should go before. I stuck it in afterwards because that's how I drew the story up, but I'd like opinions.

Needless to say, the next few days were very troubling for young Gohan Son. Because of the tournament coming up, the teachers were assigning more work than ever before. Especially all of the male teachers, most of whom were upset that they'd lost the chance to woo the daughter of one of the richest men on the planet. This fact disturbed Gohan very much, since he found it almost disrespectful that men twice her age would be fawning all over Videl, especially since they were supposed to the authority figures in her life, not groupies. On top of that, ever since the announcement was made, Sharpner was starting to act like he and Videl were already married.

The problem was that Hercule had extended a personal invitation to all of his students that allowed them to participate in the tournament if they wanted. Sharpner, being one of the top-ranked students in Hercule's Satan City dojo, had even gotten a special invite to participate in the tournament.

Hercule said that there would be five rounds in the tournament, with the top sixteen fighters all getting entry. Those sixteen would be determined by "Free for All" superrounds in which all the fighters would be divided into sixteen groups and the last one standing from each group would advance. The victor of the final pairing would face Hercule in the final round.

Gohan's first problem was Sharpner and Videl's bickering. He couldn't understand how anyone could sit next to them and concentrate on class. Sharpner had somehow already decided that he'd won the tournament, and started passing Videl lists of places that they were going to go of their "dates". All of those places were, of course, well outside of Sharpner's budget but somehow well within Videl's. This in itself caused headaches, but what was worse was that everything Sharpner said was increasing the fires of the raging volcano that was Videl, and Gohan knew that there was no hope in even trying to brace for the eruption when it happened. He just kept praying to Dende that he wouldn't be caught in the storm.

Sharpner and Videl's bickering also caused Gohan angst because it hurt one of his best friends. Contrary to what most people thought, Gohan wasn't a lump of Katchin (the densest metal in the universe) when it came to matters of the heart; just to matters of his own heart. And one of the first things he noticed was how Erasa looked at Sharpner when she thought that nobody else would notice. Gohan normally didn't like thinking bad thoughts about others, but he couldn't help but be irritated at Sharpner every time he saw how much his ignorance affected Erasa. He just didn't understand how the guy could be so caught up in someone else that he couldn't recognize the great girl that was within arm's reach of him every single day. Erasa, of course, being the person she was, would never say anything, and Gohan doubted very much that anything _he_ had to say would get through Sharpner's thick skull.

The biggest problem Gohan had was Videl herself. Just yesterday he caught sight of her posting her own sign above all of the others, and its contents caused all kinds of not-so-good thoughts to invade the mind of the young demi-saiyan. Videl had begun offering a second reward for anyone who had any information related to either Saiyaman or the mysterious Gold Fighter. Sharpner had even once come in dressed as the Gold Fighter, but came up short when he was asked to knock over a car from 15 feet away. He started by pursing his lips together and blowing like he was blowing out a cake, then tried flapping his arms, and even ran up to the car and tried to push it over, but all he succeeded in doing was to hyperventilate and pull his arms from their sockets, which resulted in him spending the day in the hospital.

On top of everything, the entire school was buzzing with rumors about Saiyaman entering "Mr. Satan's Tournament". There were rumors linking Saiyaman and Videl, already confirming them as a couple, which made her very unpleasant to sit next to during class. Gohan had once even caught sight of her doodling. It looked like she was playing hangman, accept the little man was replaced by a man with a helmet and a cape, with the name Saiyaman clearly written across his chest. It also didn't help that the words she was using ran along the lines of "Freak", "Showboater", and "Loser".

Gohan was so worried about this tournament that it occurred to him he might give himself a myocardial infarction. He had to find a way out of the tournament. He knew, especially if his family and friends were watching, that he couldn't bring himself to forfeit any matches or lose purposely. If nothing else, his Saiyan blood left him with at least that much pride. But how could he face the prospect of beating Hercule Satan and then having to deal with the media attention, the questions from everyone at school, and everyone thinking he was even weirder than he was now? Worst of all, how would he ever be able to explain things to Videl?

While our pondering hero went out to patrol the city in his "ultra cool" Saiyaman costume (it was, after all, the weekend) the very object of his musings was, in fact, busy trying to make sure he did show up at the tournament. By him, of course, she meant Saiyaman, but since it was impossible for either Gohan or Saiyaman to go anywhere without the other (DUH!) it all came down to the same thing in the end.

Saiyaman was the biggest mystery to come along to Satan City in a very long time. He just showed up out of nowhere, and the crime rate dropped nearly 30 percent in the past three months. Videl herself was halfway convinced that he was on her side, but still, she just couldn't get past the trust issues she had with someone like that. In Videl's mind, anyone who wore a helmet or covered their face was a potential enemy. It actually started for her when she was a young girl, and her mother had gone into the hospital because she "was very sick", according to her father. The attending doctor, who had his hair and face covered by a surgical cap that left only his eyes visible, had told her not to worry, and that her mother was "going to be just fine". Her mother had passed away not a week after that conversation, and ever since then, anybody who hid anything from her, especially their appearance, was someone not to be trusted.

Videl was positive that Saiyaman had a weakness, or a secret, or something that she could exploit. Her plan was an old one: get some sort of dirt on Saiyaman, and then threaten to reveal it to the world unless he showed up. Once her father beat him, he was going to get unmasked anyway, but he didn't need to know that, now did he?

The problem with her plan was simple: she didn't know a thing about Saiyaman aside from what he wore, how strong he was, and that stupid voice of his, which she knew was faked. I mean, come on, she'd heard better fake voices than his all her life. She wasn't the daughter of Hercule Satan for nothing! Now if she could just find that guy, then maybe she could think of something. There were still many things she didn't know. She didn't know where he came from, how he could fly like that (she had at first thought it was the suit, but then realized that there were no signs of a jetpack or exhaust fumes), or where he got his incredible strength from. She'd seen him bend a gun barrel with his fingers, hold a 20-ton water tank with just the palm of his right hand, and stop a falling bus; she had never heard of a suit that could give someone that kind of strength, and the only other explanation for it was that the man himself was that strong. But, that would make him as strong as her father, and she didn't think _anyone_ could be that powerful.

Caught up in her musings, Videl failed to notice at first that the communicator in her helicopter was flashing. She flipped it on. "Videl here."

"Videl, this is Chief Tehiezel (a/n: I stole this name from Keystone Cops) calling. We've got a serious emergency taking place at the Pacific Heights Apartment Complex. There's a fire in the building that's already caused some serious injuries to residents, and its blocked rescue teams from being able to reach the upper floors. We know that there are still residents trapped in those buildings, but we don't have equipment that's high enough to reach the upper apartments. Can you help us out?"

"I'm on my way, chief." Her thoughts of Saiyaman shelved for the moment, Videl checked her map and then increased her speed, making her way towards the burning building.

Saiyaman, meanwhile, was contemplating the sanity of stopping at a local fast food place to pick up something to eat. He didn't like publicity, but at the same time, a war was going on between his brain and his stomach. He hadn't managed to eat for a whole two hours, and his stomach was on the warpath, growling and gurgling nonstop in an effort to convince Gohan's brain.

Just then, he heard screams coming from a nearby building. Looking over, he saw what looked like a fire in a high-rise apartment, and a mother and child screaming for help. Shaking off his sense of déjà vu, Gohan rushed over to help, hoping that somehow he'd have everything taken care of before Videl showed up. Jeez, that was the last thing he wanted.

Videl, in the meanwhile, had been busy inside the burning building assisting residents to safety. Of course, Videl being Videl, she didn't start thinking about her own safety until it was practically too late. Most of the people were out of the building, and there were only two people left on the uppermost floor. Rushing upwards, she was assailed by the scorching heat of the air around her. The smoke was getting thicker, and she was having trouble breathing, but Videl pushed onwards, certain that the door she was looking for was just at the end of the hall. Without thinking clearly, she grabbed the door handle, only to be repelled as it scorched the palm of her hand. Gritting her teeth, she took a few steps back and kicked the wood just under the doorknob until it broke through (reality check: nobody does this in real life, it's an easy way to break a shoulder or foot).

The mother was in the corner trying to comfort the screaming child. When she saw Videl, she let out a cry and ran to her. Videl was just about to lead them out when a beam from overhead burned through and fell in front of the doorway, closing off their escape. She was trapped inside the burning room, helpless along with the two victims. Usually, she'd begin to panic a little and start to lose concentration, but somehow in the past few months since Saiyaman had arrived, she found herself less and less worried when things went wrong. It was almost as if she knew instinctively that he'd show up whenever she needed help, and especially whenever her life was in serious danger.

On cue, Videl heard the sound of the wall busting in, and there stood "Saiyaman, Guardian of the City". She rolled her eyes. Honestly, she'd have strangled him by now for doing those ridiculous poses if she hadn't gotten used to her father doing worse. Make that much worse. She still had nightmares about one particular dog food commercial from a few years back ...

Gohan had just finished his last totally awesome (cliché, I know, but it sounds like something Gohan would say) pose when a large wooden beam from the ceiling broke through the plaster roof and came crashing down to the floor, covering the room in a shower of sparks and smoke. Everyone started coughing, but Gohan, because of his acute senses, had a much worse reaction. His eyes started watering and screwing up, and his nose, throat, and lungs felt like they had been set on fire. He couldn't breathe, and started coughing badly. Without thinking, he'd inadvertently pulled off his helmet.

Normally, such an act would have been okay in a smoke filled room, if it wasn't for the presence of a very inquisitive seven-year-old with a high-powered camera set to rapid fire (you know, the setting where you can capture really quick motions in a bunch of snapshots). By the time Gohan had put on his helmet, the kid had snapped a couple dozen pictures of him without him even realizing it.

"Hey, Miss Videl, Guess what! When Saiyaman was rescuing us and took his helmet off, I got his picture!"

"You did?!" _Yes, I can't believe it!_

"Hey, um …"

"Mitch."

"Mitch, do you think I could borrow your camera for a bit?"

"Aw, but I wanna see if I got his picture on here!"

"I know, but I need those pictures for something important."

"What?"

"Well, have you heard about my father's tournament that's coming up in a few months?"

"Oh yeah, our teacher, Mr. Sadtchenko (this was the name of one of my chem Professors) mentioned something about it the other day in school. He kept talking about how he'd enter and be your … um … uh … stud muffin, that's what he said. I guess you must really like muffins, huh? Except when I asked my mom if she could make stud muffins, she said that only adults were allowed to eat them or something."

"Right," Videl mentally rolled her eyes. "But you know Saiyaman, the guy who was just here?"

"Of course!" Here the little boy's eyes grew ten times as big and his fists started to shake in excitement. "Oh man, he's so cool. He's like, almost as strong as your dad, I think. Plus, he can fly and shoot yellow things from his hands that blow things up, and he looks like he can fight pretty well. Plus, he wears a really cool looking outfit!"

Videl almost started choking in laughter with that last comment. Cool outfit? Huh, trust Saiyaman to pick out something that a five year-old thought was cool. "Yeah, well, anyway, I really think Saiyaman should enter in the tournament, don't you?" When the boy started nodding vigorously, she continued. "But, you see, he's kind of shy, and I need to find some way to sort of force him to enter. You understand?"

"Yeah, it's like when my mom tells me to eat my yucky vegetables, and I don't want to, but then she tells me that I can have ice cream afterwards. Right?

"Well, it's something like that."

"So, what do my pictures have to do with ice cream?"

Videl smiled. "Nothing. I just want to use your pictures in order to force Saiyaman into coming to my father's tournament. See, if I pretend that I'm going to tell everybody who he really is unless he agrees to show up to the tournament, then he'll come."

Mitch started. "But, um, isn't that called lying? My mom said that lying is very bad and that I should never do it."

"Mitch, of course it's not lying. It's like those vegetables. You know they're good for you, but you just don't want to eat them because they taste bad. Well, the tournament will be good for Saiyaman, because he'll, um, get to meet a whole bunch of new people and make lots more friends. But, Saiyaman is really shy, and doesn't like to meet new people. So, we need to make him show up so that he'll learn that meeting new people is just like eating vegetables. It's good for him." (I know this is repetitive, but from experience with five-year-olds, this is how you have to talk to all kids around this age before they understand what it is you're saying)

"Oh. Okay, in that case, I guess it's okay for you to have my role of film."

"Why, thank you. Tell you what, I'll make two copies of each picture and give you one of the sets."

"Yay!"

One Week Later

Gohan was once again called into action, this time to deal with a bank robbery gone sour. There was a hostage situation, and some of the hostage-takers had locked themselves in the vault with the head of the bank. The vault could be opened from either side, but only by a retinal scan, and the only person who had that authority was the bank's head. Gohan knew the vault was a brand-new Capsul Corp invention that Vegeta had helped design using some unique Saiyan alloys which were impervious to laser-cutters, explosive devices, and any other human methods of breaking through.

As Gohan arrived on the scene, he realized that, for once, he'd managed to arrive before Videl had shown up. His usual routine consisted of showing up when Videl was in the middle of something and needed help; he'd help her, and then get reamed out by her for the next twenty minutes as she explained how she "didn't need help" and that he was "getting in her way". She'd then spend the next few minutes trying to follow him in her jet copter whilst constantly shouting "Today is the day I'm going to unmask you, you jerk!" or something like that. Of course, she didn't realize that he could hear everything she said, but even if she did, she probably wouldn't care.

The first thing Gohan did was to neutralize the bad guys that had been posted outside the bank as guards. They had blockaded themselves behind a row of parked cars and were busy taking potshots at the police officers who'd arrived to diffuse the situation. Gohan simply snuck up behind them all and knocked them out with small ki blasts. His Saiyan hearing told him that there were four more hostage-takers inside, two on either end of the building and two in the back. He figured that the two in the back were busy trying to open the vault door.

Gohan first went over to the police captain and explained what he knew. The officer, who by now had a pretty good idea of who Saiyaman was and that he was on the side of justice, had no problems sharing the blueprints of the bank with the superhero. Just as Gohan had hoped, the vault was in an antechamber that was hidden from the main part of the bank, in the back. This meant that when he took out the two guys in the front, their buddies wouldn't realize anything was wrong.

Just as he was about to enter the building, Videl's jet-copter arrived, and she capsulated it before running over to where Gohan and the captain were standing.

"Sorry I'm late captain, but I, um, had another emergency I had to take care of." Little did Gohan realize that Videl was late because she had forgotten the case of pictures that she'd gotten from the little boy they'd rescued a week earlier. Videl still hadn't taken a look at the photos herself; after-all, she thought that it'd be more enjoyable if she got to find out his identity at the end of the tournament, just like everyone else. If Gohan had been able to feel the ferocious joy Videl experienced every time she thought of that day, he'd probably have gone so far as to ask his mother if he could drop out of school. And who knows if Gohan would survive_ that_ conversation.

"It's alright Videl." The captain himself wasn't a mind-reader either, and mistook Videl's smile as her reaction to the excitement of the bank robbery. After all, it was the kind of scenario she handled all the time, so he figured she must think of it as a challenge. Not the captain, though. He'd much rather stick to writing parking tickets and arresting people for J-walking over dealing with hostages and guns any day of the week.

"So, Saiyaman," she stressed his name gleefully, "What do you think we should do?"

A more alert Gohan would probably have picked up on Videl's tone of voice, and probably would have been more afraid. Unfortunately for one young demi-saiyan, all he was concentrating on at this particular moment was how to deal with the crisis at hand without anyone getting hurt. As it was, he'd been running through all kinds of scenarios in his head on how to rescue the hostages safely and at the same time apprehend all of the robbers before they had a chance to fire their weapons. However, now that he had a partner, Gohan suddenly realized how simple the plan really was. "Here's the plan, Miss Videl. The two men in the front are our biggest concern. There's one on each side of the room. Luckily, the door is on the right side of the room, so all you have to do is be sure to take out the first guy as quickly as possible. Got it?"

Videl nodded her head. It made sense. Both of them knew that Saiyaman could move faster than she could. They explained the plan to the captain, who nodded his assent before radioing the other officers on the scene and communicating the details of the plan to them.

Both of them walked up to the doors, where they could clearly make out the form of the gunman, along with several hostages, huddled up in the corner. As soon as he saw them, the perp smiled and waved, then picked up a radio attached to his belt and started talking into it. After a few minutes, he put it down and started to motion for the two crime fighters to enter the building.

"Ready, Miss Videl?"

"Right. On the count of three. One, two … three!"

The gunman had been expecting something like this. However, what he hadn't counted on was just how fast Gohan could really move. Before he realized it, a ki blast had hit the muzzle of his submachine gun and melted it shut. When he tried to fire, the gun exploded under the force of the pressure and dropped out of his hands, useless. Before he could recover, he felt himself smashed into the wall by a particularly hard punch to the jaw by Videl.

The other guy, in the meanwhile, was already down. Gohan used his incredible speed to snatch the gun away from him, and then picked him up and hung him from one of the large hanging light fixtures that descended from the ceiling. "Excuse me sir," he said in his Saiyaman voice, "but I'm a little busy at the moment. Would you mind hanging around here until I return. Thank you for your cooperation, sir." Without waiting for a reply, Gohan hopped over to Videl.

"Saiyaman, there's still a few more of their 'friends' in the back. And they have more hostages."

"Right."

As it turned out, the two thieves in the back were too preoccupied with trying to get the vault door open that they failed to notice the superhero standing right behind them until he tapped them on the shoulders. "High there! Pardon me, sirs, but, as I'm sure you're aware of, what you're doing is against the law. I think it would be best if you cease all current activity and allow me to escort the two of you to a much safer place."

After recovering from shock, the first thief started sputtering. "Why, you … you … argh!" He started firing his submachine gun straight into Gohan's chest. The gunman must not have read too many comic books while growing up, otherwise he would have realized that bullets are supposed to bounce right off of superheroes. Instead, he kept firing until all the bullets were used up and the only thing that could be heard was the clicking of the weapon as it tried to fire bullets that weren't there.

"I'll take care of that for you, if you don't mind." Gohan quickly plucked the rifle out of the man's hands, twisted it into the shape of a peace sign, and handed it back. "There now, that's a much better use for all that metal, don't you think?"

What the two criminals, in fact, were thinking, was that their best option was probably to surrender now and not risk making this guy mad. The other guy handed over his gun without a complaint, and both men allowed themselves to be escorted out of the building and into a police van where their buddies were already waiting for them.

Gohan was just about to leave when he heard a voice behind him.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll walk over to my jet-copter and get in. Understand?"

Gohan wasn't the type of person to get scared when threatened. In fact, he seemed to remember that the last time he'd received a significant threat, it had pushed him to his limits as an ascended Saiyan and helped him to defeat Cell. But somehow, with Videl's warm breath blowing onto the back of his shirt, and the familiar scent he associated with her now filling his being, all Gohan Son really wanted to do was to run as far away as he could and never look back.

Mechanically walking over to her jet-copter, Saiyaman buckled himself in and waited for Videl to start the machine before they took off. Both of them were completely oblivious to the surprised stares they received from the police and the bystanders. It was no secret that Videl considered Saiyaman a nuisance about 95 percent of the time, and when she wasn't trying to unmask him, she went out of her way to avoid him.

The reason that neither paid attention to the odd stares they received was because both of them were completely consumed with their thoughts. Gohan's were vacillating between panic and outright hysteria, while he kept dreaming up the various reasons for Videl asking him to accompany her. He'd narrowed it down to A) she knows my identity, B) she's taking me to someplace where they question you until you break, and C) she's hungry, too. Although he did admit that in all likelihood choice C was just wishful thinking.

Videl, on the other hand, was thinking up suitable ways to approach the subject of blackmail. Should she just come out and say it? Should she be polite about it? No, no way was she going to be polite to anyone who hid his face from her. Maybe the straightforward way was still the best way. "I'm sure you know about that ridiculous tournament my father set up, right?"

"Um, tournament?" Gohan figured the best way out of this was to play dumb.

She gritted her teeth. "You don't have to be such a jerk about it!"

"What, what'd I say? I'm sorry if I offended you, Miss Videl. But anyway, what does a tournament have to do with fighting crime?"

"Nothing. Just listen. And I'm not repeating myself: there is a tournament. My father is hosting it. And _you will_ be there. Got it?"

"But, I don't get it. Are there going to be criminals to fight there?"

"No. It's um, for, well, it'stofindmeahusbandalright!"

Fortunately for Gohan, Saiyan hearing combined with time spent conversing with Goten and Trunks allowed him to easily process the fast-speak. "But I don't know what you're looking for in a husband, so how can I help you?"

"You are going to fight in the tournament. That's _all_ you have to do."

"But, but why ..."

"Simple. I know how strong you are. I figure that you should be able to at least make sure no morons get through to the finals. It'll help me out a lot." _Besides, she thought, once my dad beats you, I'll get him to unmask you as a favor to me._ She smiled to herself. She couldn't wait for the day when this arrogant yahoo was exposed. It almost frightened her that she was so obsessed with Saiyaman. In fact, if it was anyone but Saiyaman, she'd swear she had a fatal fixation on the guy. But come on? Her, Videl Satan, attracted to a guy who wore a bike helmet with two antennae sticking out of it? _As _

_if_. I mean, it took a lot more than a kind smile and, from what she could tell, a fairly good physique, to impress Videl Satan.

"Look, Miss Videl, it's very kind of you to invite me to your tournament, but I'm afraid…"

"And I'm afraid that if you finish that sentence, then everyone in the city will know your true identity by tomorrow morning. Got it?"

"Huh?"

"I've got pictures. Remember that little boy we saved from the fire last week? Well, it turns out he's a bit of an amateur photographer, and guess who his favorite subject is? That's right, he's got some pictures of you from when you took your helmet off in the smoke. Never heard of flash, have you?" Videl kept right on talking through Gohan's numerous attempts to add his own thoughts. "Not only did he get some nice pictures, but he was kind enough to let me have duplicates of them. Every. Single. One." She held up a Fuji packet which held what Gohan could clearly see were developed photos.

"Please, Miss Videl, I'm sure there's another arrangement we…"

"Look, you've got two options, Saiyaman. Either come fight at the tournament, or spend the rest of your life fighting off reporters. You've got three seconds to answer me. Yes or no?"

Gohan sighed, and nodded. At least know he could both make his friends and family happy and avoid the risk of being exposed at the tournament. Besides, there may just have been a small, small part of him deep inside that, maybe, quite possibly wouldn't mind it at all if he ended up winning the tournament. But of course, that part of him, if it existed, was very careful to stay just beyond the notice of the rest of Gohan. After all, it didn't want to risk exposing itself too early and cause Gohan to go into shock _before_ he won the tournament.

"Cheer up, it'll be lots of fun. You'll get to be a hero to a lot more people if you win."

_Great_, Gohan thought, _just what I needed. More publicity_.


	6. Doomsday Has Arrived

Doomsday has Arrived or The Return of Goku

a.ka. Nerd-Boy, If I Go, I'm Taking You out with Me

Note: I have absolutely no idea how to spell Chiaotzu's name, and have seen it spelled at least three or four different ways in other stories. I've probably used three different versions in this story alone. If someone knows the correct spelling, kindly let me know.

It took the better part of a night's explaining to get Chichi to understand what Videl had done, and how it actually might turn out for the best. It was all Gohan and Goten could do to restrain their mother from running out to Satan City and knocking on Hercule's door, frying pan in hand. I mean, first that pompous man had the audacity to slander her husband's name and take credit for her son's triumph, and now his daughter had found a way to force her son into competing in the WMT. Chichi conveniently forgot, of course, that she had been pushing Gohan just as hard as anyone to enter into that tournament.

Gohan therefore spent the next few months getting into a training routine. On Sundays he'd play tag and hide-and seek with Goten and Trunks, in order to increase his flexibility, awareness and speed. This, of course, led to some serious jaw-dropping and several games of 20 Questions on Gohan's part after one particular "incident". Gohan was hiding in a cave in the mountains nearby his house, and was suppressing his ki energy until it was almost nothing, expecting the youngsters to take hours to find him. Much to his shock, both of them made quick work of cave-searching by turning Super-Saiyan and using their auras as flashlights. From what Gohan could understand, they'd just "always been able to do it" – neither of them really even knew what a Saiyan was. Obviously, Vegeta had spent much of the last seven years trying to stuff Saiyan history into Trunks' head, but Trunks was more interested in playing games than learning.

On Mondays, Gohan played catch and took batting practice with Yamcha and Puar, in order to work on his hand-eye coordination. After several close calls with flying baseballs moving at Formula One speeds, Yamcha decided that Gohan was just going to make contact and not actually try to hit the balls _at_ anything. Yamcha also got to see several repeat demonstrations of Gohan's 35 foot vertical leap as he caught nearly everything Yamcha hit in his direction.

Every Tuesday he'd head over to Roshi's and get some hand-to-hand training in with 18, who was still faster than anyone but himself and Vegeta. The usual routine was somewhat sporadic thanks to one perverted old Turtle Hermit. 18 would come out wearing tight jogging shorts and a sports bra, which normally would send anyone with testosterone in their system straight into orbit; but Gohan had known Krillen and 18 so long that they were like an aunt and uncle to him. Roshi, on the other hand, had no such scruples, and Gohan had to admit the old man was still pretty strong; he had to be to survive the numerous beatings that 18 gave to him when his comments started to go a little too far for her liking; not to mention the nosebleeds he seemed to get every time he looked in her direction. Gohan had to wonder if he kept a steady supply of packaged blood on hand for transfusions; he was probably losing a liter or two every day.

Roshi's antics aside, the sessions he spent on that island were refreshing to Gohan. He felt more connected to his father here than he did anywhere else, even his own home. Maybe it was because of all the old stories Roshi and Krillen would lapse into, or maybe it was all the dents and scorch marks in the land and house, all of the subtle reminders of a young boy named Goku.

Wednesdays were spent meditating with Piccolo, Mr. Popo and Dende. This was easily his favorite part of his week. Piccolo was, discounting Icarus, the first real friend he ever had, and in truth, was as much a father figure to Gohan as Goku ever was. Sure, there were blood ties and other connections that Gohan and Goku shared, as well as experiences that nobody could ever share, but there were just as many experiences that Gohan shared with Piccolo alone. Piccolo was also the first martial arts teacher he'd had, and he knew that many of his fighting techniques and strategies were derivatives of the Namek's own style. Dende was the only friend his own age that Gohan had had growing up, and both of them had leaned on each other in times of need. Gohan was there for Dende when the young Namek had lamented over the loss of his brother (even though Nail was, in a sense, 

still there, his not being there in a physical sense still hurt), and Dende supported Gohan when he'd thought he lost his father for the second time when Namek blew up. Both had to deal with enormous responsibilities at a young age; Gohan coming to terms with his defeating Cell and saving the world, and Dende assuming his duties as guardian of a planet that was still so backwards that it had no concept of what a guardian was. And Mr. Popo, was, as always, Mr. Popo, a little strange, but cheerful and helpful; and most importantly, his intractableness was a huge comfort to Gohan, who always felt he had a familiar, unchanging friend to lean on.

On Thursdays, Gohan headed back over to Roshi's to work on fighting tactics and opponent strategies. Krillen, in power and in strength being among the weakest of the Z-fighters, relied on his wits more than any of the others, and his experiences helped Gohan to understand what it took to fight with, and win against, people with much greater powers than you. It also taught him humility; Krillen knew he was weak compared to everyone else, but it never dampened his spirits.

Fridays, Gohan hung out with Tien and Chaozu and practiced ki techniques, like holding set amounts of energy and learning to control and shape his ki attacks better. Out of all of his father's friends, Gohan felt that he knew Tien and Chaozu the least, so the time he spent with them was all the more meaningful. Tien, as it turned out, was a very closemouthed person, and it took a long time before he really opened up. After a while, though, Gohan realized that Tien was much more than a fighter; his third eye came after he reached the highest stage of enlightenment. He was extremely well-educated, and often would spout Confucian proverbs or start discussing esoteric histories with Gohan. In fact, Gohan thought, Tien was a bit of nerd himself when it came to history.

Saturdays were Gohan's least favorite days, since he was locked up with Vegeta in the Gravity Room for entire day training at 500x gravity. Not that the first six hours were a problem, but Gohan could not understand for the life of him how Vegeta could just keep training forever and not get bored out of his mind. It was no wonder Trunks wanted to come over and play with Goten on a daily basis; there was certainly nothing he could do with Vegeta aside from training; no going to the park (unless it was a reward for a good spar), no video games, movies, or anything when Vegeta was parenting.

Gohan had to admit, though, that some of Vegeta's focus and determination were beginning to rub off on him. After a while, he could begin to feel himself getting better and better at fighting. Both of them knew that Gohan was by far the stronger of the two, but strength didn't count for anything in spars where both opponents were still fighting in their regular forms. It had taken Gohan the better part of his first day just to get used to training at 500x normal gravity, and Vegeta was beating him effortlessly, pounding him mercilessly time after time into the floor.

Three weeks in, though, Gohan was beginning to get the hang of the training, particularly since he'd snuck in some time for himself in the gravity room at 650x gravity, just to get used to such high levels. He'd even begun wearing weighted clothing while in the room, the same style that Piccolo always wore – a fifty pound turban on his head, 150 pounds on his shoulders, and even fifty pound weights on each of his boots. It nearly killed him the first time, but after the weeks went by, he was moving faster and more fluidly than he ever had before.

Soon, Gohan was pushing past even the limits he'd reached when fighting Cell, while at the same time improving techniques and strategies until he could almost play out entire fights in his head with his eyes closed. It was almost as though he could read what his opponents would do before hand, simply because he'd seen them do the same things over and over again.

It was the day before the tournament, and everyone (even Vegeta) had agreed that Gohan needed to take the day off so that he could be ready for tomorrow. Gohan was at Capsul Corp, relaxing with Trunks and Goten in fact, when the Saiyan prince walked into the room. "Trunks, Goten, you two brats leave the room and find something else to do. Now!" Neither willing to argue with Vegeta when he used that tone of voice, the two young Saiyans made a quick getaway. "Gohan, we need to talk."

Gohan started picking at his ears. He thought that maybe he'd gotten a large amount of waxy buildup in either one or both, because he could have sworn that Vegeta actually wanted to talk to him. "I'm sorry, Vegeta, I think I misunderstood you?"

"I SAID, we should talk. Now."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Just shut up and listen. First things first: If you, ever, EVER, repeat the contents of this conversation to anyone, ever again, you won't live to see the next day. Got it?"

"Oookay, I think I'll just – "

"Shut it. Now, how to begin. Ah, well, might as well be as blunt as possible. You _have_ to win tomorrow, otherwise your life will be forever incomplete."

Gohan sighed. Was victory all Vegeta ever thought about? "Look, Vegeta, it's nice that you want me to win and all, but –"

"Brat, what do you know about Saiyan physiology?"

"Um, well, I guess Saiyans must eat a lot, right?"

"Know anything else?"

"Um, no."

Vegeta sighed. "I guess that shouldn't be such a surprise with Kakarot as your source of information. Well, you see, there are many important aspects of being a Saiyan. One, you know, is that we must eat much larger portions than other organisms, because our metabolisms are so high. Now, perhaps the most important aspect of Saiyan culture is procreation. Don't you turn away from me boy," Vegeta growled. As soon as Gohan heard the word procreation, he did his best to extricate himself from the situation. Unfortunately, Vegeta was on to him. "Saiyan procreation is unique among sentient life forms, in that procreation may only occur after pairbonding with a mate."

"Pairbonding?"

"Yes. It's a link that forms between your minds. You can communicate telepathically with one another, as well as pick up on each other's emotional state. But Saiyans are unable to reproduce without first forming a pairbond with another being. In the past, coming-of-age ceremonies were held between all Saiyan males and females. Essentially, all who were of the right age and had yet to form a pairbond with another were thrown into one large room together, and by the end of the day everyone who was able to do so found themselves paired up with another. Unfortunately for you, Trunks, and Goten, there are no more Saiyan women, so you have no choice but to make do with the women from this planet. Oh, and by the way… the Satan girl, she's your mate."

"What? That's impossible. She doesn't even like me!"

"And what about all of the other females at your school. How do they act towards you?"

"Well, some of them bother me. They chase me around, try to blackmail me, and other stuff."

"And the Satan girl?"

"She's always yelling at me, and every time she looks at me it's like she thinks I committed a crime. It's actually pretty scary."

"Do you fear the other girls as much as Videl?"

"No, it's more like nuisance. I mean, I try to be polite when I let them know that I'm not interested, but they never seem to listen to me. Videl, though, she's always looking at me suspiciously, even though I've never done anything, besides miss some class, she could point to as odd behavior. To tell you the truth, it's really unsettling. Nobody else seems to have a problem with me, and if they do, they at least aren't so open about it."

"Precisely. You're afraid of her, even though, from a rational point of view, you shouldn't be."

"I guess so."

"That proves that she's your mate."

"Huh?"

"There's a dominant partner in every Saiyan relationship. It can be either the male or the female, but there must always be a dominant partner and a lesser partner. Now, in my case, being the Prince of All Saiyans," Vegeta missed Gohan's eye roll, "I happen to be the dominant partner in my relationship. In your father's case, brat, it's clear that your mother is by far the dominant partner. You are so much like your father that it should come as no surprise that you are also the lesser partner in your relationship."

"Hey, I'm not even in a –"

"So you're saying that you'd stand up to your mate? What if she had a frying pan in her hand?"

"What does any of this have to do with Videl?"

Vegeta grabbed Gohan by the collar of his shirt and growled. "She. Is. Your. Mate. She is the only mate that will ever come along for you in this lifetime. You can either win her or spend the rest of your life alone. And, if you choose that course, then you will singlehandedly be responsible for your own misery. Saiyans cannot survive and be whole without their mates."

Gohan was confused. "So then, Vegeta, supposing I consider her to be my mate, what do I have to do?"

Vegeta smirked. "First, you have to win her at the tournament. Then, you have to claim her."

Gohan didn't like Vegeta's tone when he used the word "claim". It sounded way too creepy to be anything pleasant. "Claim?'

Vegeta leaned over and started whispering in Gohan's ear. Five seconds later, Gohan's nose started to bleed. "Okay, okay! I get it. Claim. And what if, I … win but don't claim her."

"Well then, I suppose your _wife_ will hate you even more than she seems to right now. Don't worry about anything that comes after you're victorious. The marriage, the bonding, and .. the rest, will sort itself out. Just don't lose. Got it?"

"Okay."

"Hold on. There's still something more I'd like to say. I still don't think you fully grasp the importance of this union. Gohan, I may never have told you this before, and I probably won't ever do so again. So listen: I'm proud of you, Gohan. You, like your father, are a true warrior. I realized it right after you defeated Cell: though you show mercy, in the end victory is just as important to you as it is to me. These past few months, as I've watched you fight, I've come to realize that while your mannerisms may not befit a member of the Saiyan race, deep inside of you exists the same flame that burns within me. The desire to become better, stronger than you are now, at any cost. For your father and I, it manifested itself in intense training. For you, it seems, your mental strength is much more important to you that your physical strength. Regardless, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you've got true Saiyan blood coursing through your veins, and this is the only chance you will ever have to pass it on. Just think about that when you're fighting in the tournament tomorrow."

Gohan was still pondering over Vegeta's earlier behavior when he decided to head over to The Lookout and spend some time with Piccolo and Dende. He never had to say anything when he came over, especially since he usually picked times when he knew both his sensei and his friend were meditating. Sure enough, he spotted both of them right out in front, hovering a few feet of the ground as they were deep in concentration. With a wave to Mr. Popo, Gohan himself got into this position and began his own regimen.

Several hours later, all three had finished, and were reminiscing about old times when Gohan felt a very familiar ki suddenly spike just behind him. He noticed that both Piccolo and Dende had stiffened as well, and Mr. Popo was staring at something behind them all with his jaw agape. Gohan didn't need to turn around to know whose had he suddenly felt on his shoulder, but he did anyway.

"Dad."

Nothing was said for the first few minutes as father and son simply embraced each other. Both had been feeling an enormous amount of guilt over the past seven years; Goku constantly agonized over whether or not he'd made the right decision when he decided to stay dead, and Gohan had spent every day trying to reconcile the feelings of shame he still felt over not destroying Cell when he had the chance and, in his mind, forcing Goku to sacrifice himself for what turned out to be nothing. They looked into each other's eyes, each expressing their own pain while at the same time finding the understanding and forgiveness within the other's heart. Suddenly, a great rumbling was heard.

"Um, Gohan, do you think it would be okay if we got something to eat before we went home?"

(Back at the Son residence)

"Oh I hope your brother gets here soon, Goten. He should get to bed early tonight. After all, he's only got half a day at school tomorrow, and then he has to participate in the preliminary eliminations in the afternoon."

"Mom, what's pre-, um preli-, um-"

"Preliminary. It means before the actual fighting. Only the strongest of the fighters present are actually allowed to."

"How come?"

"Well, Goten, think of it this way: there are going to be hundreds of fighters coming to participate." She waited until her son nodded his head. "If all of them were allowed to fight, then the tournament would take too long, and it would be even longer before you had your new sister."

"Oh." Goten still had very little idea of what was going on, but what he did know is that his brother was going to be a daddy soon, and that would mean that Goten was going to get both a new sister and a niece, whatever a niece was. But what he really understood was that Gohan would be very happy, and that made Goten very happy.

Just then, there was a knock at the door, followed by, "Mom, we're home." Chichi was expecting this, but what she wasn't expecting was, "Chichi, is dinner ready yet? Man, I'm starving."

"G-Goku?"

"Yeah. I just got back!" The spiky-haired Saiyan walked into the kitchen and grinned at his shocked wife. Even though she knew he was coming back today, nothing could have prepared her for the moment she actually laid eyes on him. Chichi promptly fainted, and would have hit the floor if Gohan hadn't rushed to catch her.

Goten, in the meantime, sat still while staring at the new arrival. _Wow_, he thought, _sothisismydaddyohboyhehasthesamehareasmebuthe'srealtalllikeGohanandhehaswaymoremuscle_!

Goku, for his part, noticed his youngest son had paused while in the middle of spooning himself the rest of his dinner. Goku walked over and pulled out the chair next to Goten, and sat down, content just to gaze at his son for the moment. _He's so big, and he has my hair, and from the looks of things, my appetite also_ thought a grinning Goku. "So, you must me Goten." The boy nodded quietly. "I'm Goku. Hi!"

"Um, are you my dad?"

"Yep, and I've been watching you grow up from my friend King Kai's … em, rental house … for the last few years."

"Really? That's so cool! You mean you could like, just look outside of his house and see me all the time?!"

"Not just you, but your mother, and Gohan, and Krillen, and Trunks and Bulma, and Tien and Chiaoutzu, and Yamcha, and Piccolo, too!"

"Wow. Um, Gohan always told me that you're the strongest fighter ever! Is that true?"

Goku laughed. "Well, I have been told I'm pretty strong, but Gohan was stronger than I was when I was last here. And from what I can see, you might just be stronger than the both of us when we were your age, so you may be the strongest one yet!"

By this point Chichi, thanks to some smelling salts kept around for emergencies, had revived and was rubbing her head. "Goku? Is it really you?"

"Well, if it isn't me, then it's someone who thinks he's me, and somehow has all of my memories!"

"Oh, Goku, I'm so happy your back. You don't know how much I've missed you!"

Goku looked at his wife. He was just amazed, even after almost 30 years (I assume they met when they were around ten, and if they got married at 18, it would make them both close to 40 at this point), that he could look at her and still see the little girl he'd met so long ago. He remembered when the first got married, how he told her straight off that he really wasn't sure what love and marriage were, but that he'd never felt like this for anyone before. And now, even after all this time, all Goku had to do was to look at Chichi and realize that she was the only one he was ever meant to be with. "Chichi, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't stop and think about you guys, and how you were, and whether I'd made the right decision or not. I'm still not sure, but then again, there has only been one decision I ever made in my life that I knew was right, and that I never had to look back on." His gaze towards his family left nobody in the room in doubt as to what Goku was referring to, even Goten, who was still unsure whether girls had cooties or not.

The Next Day at School

If there was one good thing about a half-day, it meant that Gohan wouldn't have to wait as long before he finally got to eat his lunch. And, since the half-day was just for those people who hadn't entered the tournament, it meant that most of the more annoying members of the male population, i.e. Sharpner, weren't in school. There were supposed to be facilities set up for the would-be competitors to warm up in starting this morning, but Gohan was taking this day to relax more and do something much less strenuous, like Calculus (only Gohan would find Calculus fun).

What did surprise Gohan, though, was that Videl, Erasa, and Sharpner were all in school as well. Videl had muttered something about preferring school then spending time around potential future spouses, Erasa was here because she couldn't afford to miss any new gossip, and Sharpner was here because, "Unlike those other wimps, I know I'm going to get to the finals and face Mr. Satan, so what's the point in working up any more of a sweat than I have to?"

"So, Gohan, are you, like, going to come to the tournament, too?"

"No, no, I'm – "

"Of course he coming."

Both Gohan and Erasa turned toward Videl. "Huh?"

"I'm going to be stuck there all day in a private booth, and _both of you_ are going to be stuck there with me. If you don't show up, you'll regret it. Especially _you_, Gohan." Videl halfway suspected Gohan was somehow connected to Saiyaman. I mean, what are the odds that a mysterious superhero appears in Satan City the day after the new boy, who, while cute, no doubt had more skeletons in his closet than the U.S. president, shows up at school? There was just something about the way he avoided directly answering any of her questions that irritated Videl more than she could say.

Gohan, in the meantime, was going into sensory shock. There was no way he could show up as Gohan _and_ the Great Saiyaman at the same time in the same place! Dende_, if you don't bail me out on this one, I'll_ … "Videl, it's really nice of you to offer, but I've got a ton of work to do, and besides, um, I don't really like watching people fight." _Smooth, Gohan, real smooth_.

"Yeah, Videl, let nerd-boy alone so he can do his work."

"Sharpner, if you don't shut up right now, I'm gonna stick my leg up your – "

"Please, you two, can you cool it for just one day?" Now Erasa _knew_ things were bad, if she had to be the voice of reason. "Gohan," she turned to him and pouted, "Please, please can you come? It would be so boring if it was just me and Videl, all by ourselves, stuck in a private booth with Videl's dad _all_ day! Besides, won't it be fun to try and guess which guy will knock Sharpie here flat on his butt?"

"Hey, I'm right here!"

"I know."

If it hadn't been for those weeks of meditation with Piccolo, Gohan thought his heart might have exploded by now. "I'm really sorry, guys, but –"

"But what, Gohan?" Videl's voice had softened considerably. Now, Gohan hadn't lived for 18 years with his mother and Bulma around without picking up the knowledge that when a woman lowers her voice like that, the next few words you said to her might make the difference between life and death.

"Gohan, you're coming with us." Videl leveled a glare at Gohan that would have melted the polar ice caps. "If you don't, I'll find out where you live. Got it?"

The young demi-Saiyan gulped. He just nodded. He couldn't understand it? There was no reason to be so afraid of Videl, and yet, he was. Vegeta couldn't possibly have been making any sense with the whole mate talk. Could he?


	7. Sizing Up the Competition

Sizing up the Competition

or How Much Torture Can Gohan Take Before he Pops?

_How in the world do I get myself into these jams _Gohan was thinking morosely. He was currently outside of his school, waiting for Videl and Erasa to come out. Sharpner had called Erasa and told her that crowds were already beginning to form, and it would be best if Videl got there as soon as possible so as to avoid any encounters with the competitors since she was, after all, their prize. Gohan was still trying to figure out what he was going to do about having to show up as both Gohan Son and The Great Saiyaman at the same time.

Gohan was also still thinking about what Vegeta had said earlier in the week. _He couldn't be right, could he? I mean, Vegeta is the most knowledgeable person in the universe when it comes to Saiyans, but even he lost his home when he was just a kid, right? So maybe, just maybe, he's wrong and Videl isn't my mate. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese Jet pilot _(Okay, so I borrowed this last line from Army of Darkness). Of course, it didn't help that ever since he found out she was his mate, he had to do everything he possibly could to keep himself from staring at her all the time. Even her scent seemed twice as strong as before.

"Gohan. Gohan!" Erasa had been trying to get his attention for the last few minutes, but he was staring off into space and it looked like he wasn't going to come out of orbit any time soon. She tried tapping him on the shoulder, then on the forehead, waving her hands in front of his eyes … nothing seemed to get the Son boy's attention. He was totally spaced out. That was it, time to get serious. She normally didn't like getting violent, but desperate times needed desperate measures. Balling up her hand into a fist, she lightly punched Gohan in the stomach … then wished that she hadn't. _Kami, what was his stomach made of? Steel_? Man, he was a lot buffer than he let on.

Even now, Gohan was wearing the school uniform which, he'd confessed to Erasa, his mom never let him leave home without. Man, if he was trying to hide his physique from the rest of the school, he was sure doing a good job. Suddenly, Erasa smirked. Her favorite hobby in the entire world was looking for people to hook up with each other, and for the past several weeks her new targets had been none other than Gohan and the city's favorite daughter. Erasa knew that nobody would win this tournament, because Mr. Satan was just too strong, but that only meant that his daughter wouldn't be distracted by the slight problem of a fiancée, and was therefore sure to be available for Gohan. First things first, though, Erasa had to get Gohan to snap out of the trance he was in. Grabbing her emergency Tastycakes, Erasa jammed them under her oblivious friend's nose, then giggled as he snatched the packet out of her hands and shoved it into his mouth, managing to chew it up quite thoroughly before realizing that the wrapper was still on.

Grinning sheepishly, the demi-Saiyan peeled off the wrapper and stuffed the now flattened mass of Tastycake into his mouth, then licked the wrapper spotless before dumping it in a nearby trashcan. "Sorry, Erasa, were you saying something?" Gohan would normally be terribly embarrassed, but he could still taste some of the cake on his tongue, and it was consuming the majority of his thoughts.

"I said, Videl's already in her jet-copter. It's around back, so let's go!" They started walking to the back of the school, when Erasa suddenly stopped. "Gohan, are you really going to wear those long sleeves to the tournament. It's like, eighty degrees outside!"

"Well, I, um…"

"Oh, come _on_, Gohan, we both know you're a lot buffer than you let on. I don't know why you try to hide so much from other people, but I think it would do you good to come out of your shell for just one day!"

"Honestly, Erasa, it's not like that…"

"Hmph. Fine. But hurry up, okay? Videl's probably steaming already. She hates being late. You run to the copter, I just have to use the lady's room."

"Okay. Sure thing." With that, the oblivious teen left the company of the friend with the sweetest disposition he'd ever seen, and steeled himself to face the one with the disposition of an angry bear.

_Perfect_. Erasa waited until Gohan was out of sight, and then snuck inside to get to the soda machine and back out quickly before anyone realized what she was doing. As soon as the thing finished dispensing her soda, Erasa picked it up andshook it vigorously before placing it inside her purse. She made sure to swing the purse around as hard as she could without it being too obvious. She had some dry crackers in her bag already, and with the addition of the soda, everything she needed for her ultimate plan was ready.

Now, most people assumed that Erasa thought only about boys and gossip, which was pretty much true. However, it was a fact that since Erasa only ever spent time learning about two subjects, she was one of the world's foremost experts on both, and these abilities had let her know that the ever lovable man-hating Videl may just have a bit more than casual interest in the cute new nerd. And now that Erasa knew Gohan was buff, well, obviously the next best thing would be to let Videl in on the secret as well. After all, the best way to hook two people up was to force them into a series of "accidental" but fortunate discoveries about each other, and let them do the rest. So you see folks, Erasa really was much smarter than most people gave her credit for; her talents just lay in areas that were not needed in most situations.

They got to the jet-copter just as Videl had opened the door to jump down. "It's about time, you two! I was just about to come looking for you. What were you two doing that took you so long, anyway?" Videl's tone was suspicious.

Erasa was grinning like mad inside. She knew it! Videl was suspicious, and yes, slightly jealous. It was no secret that Erasa thought Gohan was one of the cutest boys in the school (an opinion shared by half the student body and teaching staff – the female half), but what Videl didn't know was that Erasa had lost her heart to someone else a long time ago. Anyway, if Videl was jealous, it could only mean that she had to have more than a casual interest in Gohan. Erasa's instincts had come through for her again!

It took them about twenty minutes to reach the stadium, by which time Erasa realized that plan Alpha Chi Sigma was ready for implementation. "Hey, Gohan, d'you want some of these crackers?" Now, nobody could fail to hear the deviousness in Erasa's voice, but at the mention of crackers, all other thoughts left the suddenly starving Saiyan's mind. Gohan nodded hopefully, then grinned as Erasa handed over the entire box. Erasa watched victoriously as the Son boy wolfed down his impromptu meal and then got a severe case of dry mouth.

"Em, Erasa, hehe… you wouldn't happen to have anything to drink, now, would you?"

"Why, yes, Gohan, as a matter of fact I do!" Erasa gleefully handed over her secret weapon, then waited. _Come on, come on, three, two … yes!_Just as the blonde quasi-genius planned, the soda exploded upon being opened, and splashed its sticky contents all over Gohan's face and shirt. "Oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry!" Before either of her two companions could say anything, Erasa had run up to one of the booths that sold merchandise, and bought a T-shirt which she knew would be tight on Gohan, plus a bottle of water, then ran back. "Here, take this off." She yanked Gohan's shirt above his head before he had a chance to comprehend what she was trying to do. Then, she pulled out a plastic bag that she kept in her purse for emergencies (her purse was, like most women's, a do-it-yourself survival kit that a boy scout would be proud of) and placed the sticky shirt inside before stuffing the bag back into her purse.

Looking up, Erasa caught sight of Videl and Gohan, then had to restrain herself from doing a victory dance. Gohan was busy blushing andtrying to avoid making direct eye contact with anyone, especially since every female in his line of sight had suddenly stopped to stare at his perfectly chiseled torso and chest. But, of course, the woman who had the best seat in the house was none other than Videl, and Erasa was happy to note that her best friend was staring wide-eyed at the shirtless young man, her eyes constantly flicking to focus on his chest, abs, and biceps. Videl's face had flushed a little, and her breathing had sped up just enough for Erasa to appreciate _exactly_the kind of reaction a shirtless Gohan had on Hercule's daughter. Erasa gave Gohan a quick rinse down to make sure all of the sticky residue had been washed off, then handed him a candy bar and told him to wait until he was dry before she gave him the shirt she'd just bought. Gohan being himself, he just shrugged his shoulders and started munching happily away at his new treat, now completely oblivious to the stares he was getting from every woman he passed.

Videl, on the other hand, had been sweating profusely ever since they'd landed, and seeing a shirtless Gohan only made things worse. She had yet to find her voice, otherwise she'd probably have attacked her friend with a thousand questions by now. _Great Kami, he's ripped! But, this is Gohan. Gohan, the nerd I'm not even sure I like. I mean, he's not really a friend. But then, why did I invite him with us? It couldn't have been to make him jealous? Now way! I mean, how could he be jealous of any guy when he's got a body like … ahh, what the hell am I think about?_

While Videl was busy asking herself every Gohan-related question she could possibly think of, the demi-Saiyan was happily struggling into the shirt Erasa had bought him. It was a very snug fit, but at least it covered down to his waist. He always hated when people saw him without a shirt; especially girls, because once they saw him, they wouldn't stop looking at him, and even though he tried to ignore them, he always felt like he was a piece of steak at the supermarket. Mmmm, steak.

Gohan was doing his very best to be inconspicuous, but unfortunately for him, word travels fast. Every woman he passed was now staring at him. He was just about to duck behind Erasa when he felt someone tugging on the back of his shirt. "What the …?" There was, literally a line of girls directly behind them, all of them about his age, and all of them looking at him with the same stare. Predatory.

Before he could react, the girl pushed the front of his shirt up, exposing his chest and torso once again. Gohan reddened. He could feel dozens of pairs of eyes just staring at him, but he couldn't bring himself to just walk away. He never knew what to do in these situations. Fortunately for him, someone else had taken notice, as well.

Videl had been surreptitiously sneaking glances at Gohan, or more specifically the way his tight shirt clung to his perfect body, for the last several minutes, but as soon as she saw the gaggle of girls and how he was just standing there stiff as a statue, she started fuming. How dare that jerk take time out to flirt with girls when _she_ was the one who invited him here? There was no way she would let this continue! 

Videl marched right up to him and, yanking forcefully on the back of his tee, started dragging him to the waiting Erasa. The girls started to whine in protest, which quickly stopped as Videl leveled one of her infamous Satan glares at them. She was just about to turn back and give Gohan a piece of her mind, along with another glare, when she felt herself being spun around violently before her hands were suddenly caught in a steel trap. Or, at least she thought it was a steel trap, until she realized Gohan had taken her hands in between his_. I knew he was stronger than he let on after seeing him shirtless, but man, he's crushing my hands!_

"Thankyouthankyouthanyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Gohan kept repeating.

"Sure, Gohan, but would you mind letting go of my hands now before circulation loss turns them gangrenous?"

In most stories, it would be at this point that the trio would make their way to the special box reserved for The Champ, his daughter, and their guests. Of course, that can't happen in this story, because then we'd lose an entire day's worth of Gohan torture. Starting now.

The first thing the demi-Saiyan and his two companions had to fight through was a crowd of girls at least as long and wide as a football field. Erasa was more than a little annoyed, but totally forgot when she saw the reason. The crowd had formed around a cadre of security guards, all of whom looked like they'd be more at home in a WWF ring wearing spandex shorts then in gray and black business suits and ties. The guards were flanking three figures; one, a short, balding man who looked to be in his fifties, a pretty brown-haired woman whose ridiculous-looking boots (Ugz), criminally-short-skirt and way-too-tight tube top screamed American, and a young man with straight black hair down to his jawline; the hair was parted perfectly in the middle, making it look like two black waterfalls. He was wearing black converse high-tops and a pair of faded but tight-fitting jeans, and a gray flannel sweatshirt that molded his flat chest and abs perfectly. "Oh … my … god … …. … it's Sev!" Erasa squealed out loud enough that everyone within ten feet of her had to spot and cover their ears. Poor Gohan nearly passed out from the pain.

Videl was trying to make sense of her friend's behavior, as Erasa was now bouncing up and down and gripping her arm none too gently. "Erasa, will you let go of me and get a grip?" though Videl had to admit, having a rock and roll superstar the caliber of Sev showing up was something even she never expected. He was actually supposed to be from somewhere close to here, but he did most of his touring in Europe and America, and only rarely came back to Japan every now and then. The brunette next to him was his model-girlfriend, Mika Psorakoff, whom everybody knew was once engaged to none other than Hollywood's current heartthrob, David Sinclair. There was still talk of how Sev just swept Mika right off of her feet and out from under Sinclair's nose. In fact, it was pretty well-known that Sinclair was so broken up about it that he cancelled his next three upcoming movies and had apparently relocated to a monastery in Northern Taiwan to do some soul-searching.

By this time, Gohan had managed to recover his equilibrium, and after making sure he hadn't suffered any residual hearing loss, he looked over to where Erasa and Videl were looking. _Hey_, he thought_, I know that face …_ "Seventeen?" The android, of course, had hearing that nearly matched Gohan's, and he was easily able to pick out where the voice who'd spoken his real name was coming from.

"Gohan," he called out. Seventeen then gestured for the Son boy to come over to him. Gohan being Gohan, he walked right up to the android without a second thought. What he failed to notice, was, of course, that everyone in the immediate area, including Videl and Erasa, were now trying to figure out just who this guy was and how he knew a rock star.

"17! Wow, I had no idea that you were going to be here!"

The shorter android gave Gohan his trademark half-smile. "Well, my sister called me a while back and happened to mention that you might be getting married soon, and I figured I might as well be here for the wedding." Even though Seventeen seldom laughed, Gohan could swear he heard maniacal laughter akin to Vegeta's ringing through his ears.

Gohan shuddered. They were _all _out to get him. Next thing you know Freiza and Cell would show up as snack vendors, and the Ginyu force would be contracted as a pit band. "Gohan," the Saiyan heard behind him just before he was viciously seized and spun around, only to face the glaring face of Videl, "You know Sev?"

"Uh, well, that is …. Uh?"

"Se-ev, aren't you going to introduce me to your cute friend?" This from the brunette.

"Oh yeah. Mika, this is Gohan, the little guy I told you about. Gohan, this is my girlfriend, Mika."

Gohan pulled away from Videl and stuck his hand out towards Mika, only to be pulled into an oxygen-depriving hug as the pretty woman grabbed him and held on for dear life.

"OOhh,so YOU'RE little Gohan. Sev's always telling me stories of how you beat that Cell guy and saved him and his sister from being eaten by that thing and saved the whole world and …" Fortunately for the mental state of Gohan, Mika talked about as fast as Goten and Trunks did, which meant that while he could understand everything she said, it appeared that neither Videl nor Erasa could say the same; there'd be no question about why this girl thought he was the one to beat Cell and not Hercule.

Luckily for Gohan, Seventeen had heard what his girlfriend had almost let slip to everyone within listening distance, and wisely began steering her in another direction. Before they left, Seventeen quietly told Gohan that they'd be watching him and not to screw up if he could help it.

Thinking the worst was over, Gohan wiped the sweat off of his brow and was about to continue on towards the food when he was yanked around by an irate Videl.

"Gohan! You know Sev?"

"Uh, yeah, see, we kinda met seven years ago, and his sister is my dad's best friend's wife, and …"

"What! You mean you know Sev's family?"

"Yeah, he has a sister, and brother-in-law, and a niece who's about 5 now, and I guess a girlfriend whom I just met."

"Why didn't you say anything about this before?" The look on Videl's face promised that no explanation would make up for Gohan's failure to disclose this kind of information.

"Yeah, cutie, how come you never mentioned knowing the biggest rockstar on the planet?" Erasa was more interested in checking out all the cute muscle-bound guys that kept walking by, but Gohan's knowing Sev did pique her interest just a bit.

"Rockstar?"

"Yeah, he's put out, like, three albums already, and all of them have reached platinum status or above!"

"Oh", was all Gohan could add. After that statement, any further discussion of the subject seemed useless to everyone, so they just continued to move on.

Soon after, the three friends came to the main arena, where the competition was being held. The organizers of the tournament were also the same people who ran the World Martial Arts Tournament, and since Hercule was a past champion of the event, they saw no problem in moving the WMT museum to the new stadium for the week. This of course meant that all the statues of the past champions were displayed inside the main entrance. And just when Gohan thought he was finally safe ….

"Ohmygoshohmygosh, look, it's Goku Son!" Gohan looked to where Erasa was pointing, and sure enough, there was a statue of his father, Goku, winner of the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament. Erasa kept going. "Look at him. Even his statue looks sooo hot! Those muscles, I mean, wow! You know, Goku Son was the youngest winner of the tournament ever! He was like, 18 when he won. And, he was a finalist in the previous two tournaments before becoming champion. He was said to be the grandson of Gohan Son, the legendary martial artist who won the 17th World Martial Arts Tournament, and he was trained by Master Roshi, the even more legendary martial artist who won the 15th Tournament, and whose brother, Jackie Chun (I think that's how he identifies himself) won the 21st championship by defeating Goku in the finals (for those who wonder, I'm assuming that the tournament is originally held every 5 years like it says in the show, which would make Goku's victory 30 years after his grandfather's and 40 years after Master Roshi's 1st victory). And, even more incredible, Goku's wife is supposed to be none other than Chichi, the Ox Princess, whom he fought in the first round of the tournament that year."

"How do you know all of that Erasa?" asked Videl.

"Simple. I always make it a goal to get to know all of the cute celebrities like Goku Son as best as I can!"

Videl was busy processing all of the information she could recollect about Goku Son. Her dad always called him a magician who used tricks, but she'd seen some of his fighting techniques on old films, and at least those looked to be real enough. It was strange though, that Goku Son competed in three straight tournaments, and then failed to defend his championship when her father came to fight in his first tournament. Wait a minute …

"_Son_? Goku _Son_?" You could hear the wind whip as Videl's head snapped towards her other companion. "Gohan, he wouldn't happen to be a relative of yours, would he?"

Gohan, who was still busy ruminating over his family's accomplishments, suddenly realized what Videl had just asked him. "Um, well, yes, actually. He's my, um, dad."

"WHAT?" Erasa's voice was loud enough to make Gohan's ears bleed once again. "You mean your dad is THE GokuSon? Why didn't you ever say anything? That means both your father and your great-grandfather are martial arts legends. You're the descendant of some of the greatest fighters in recent history!"

Gohan rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, about that, you see, my great-grandfather died when my dad was still a kid, so I never really knew much about him. And my dad, well I knew he'd won a tournament, but he never really talked about it all that much, except to tell me that he and my mother got married in the ring after fighting each other in one of the rounds."

_His father is Goku Son_, thought Videl, _which would make his mother Chichi Son, the Ox Princess, and his grandfather the Ox King, one of Master Roshi's former pupils_. "So Gohan, I don't expect that you have any experience in martial arts, do you?"

"Well, I was taught when I was younger by my dad and some of his friends, like Piccolo, Tien, Krillen, and Yamcha…"

"WHAT! You mean King Piccolo, Tienshinhan, Krillen, and Yamcha the Desert Bandit?"

"Yes…"

"But, but, Tienshinhan won the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament over your dad, and Yamcha the Desert Bandit, well, he always made it to the quarterfinals every year he competed. Krillen made it to the semifinals of the tournament two years in a row, and the third year he went out to King Piccolo in the quarterfinals, who lost to your dad in the final round the year that freak accident destroyed the ring!"

"Oh." Gohan was beginning to realize that his dad and his friends were a lot more well-known then they'd ever let on. Except for Yamcha, none of the others had ever had a career in the public eye, and Gohan knew that Tien and Chaiouzu hated publicity almost as much as Piccolo and Vegeta. So he guessed that explained why nobody ever told him about any of this stuff before.

Unfortunately for Gohan, one daughter of the world's savior was rapidly exiting her 'shock and awe' phase and entering her 'I will get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do phase'. Videl felt like she was putting together a puzzle and had fit almost all the piece into place, except there were still several pieces she couldn't figure out how to place yet, and the picture was still jumbled without them.

As the three friends entered the private box, they could see what looked like a giant electronic bracket with numbers arranged to each side. There were eight rows of brackets, subdivided into two halves; it looked like each of the top 16 contestants, listed A through P would have their names randomly inserted into either the far left column or the far right one, and would be paired with the person immediately below them (i.e. A fights B, C fights D, and so on), and the winner of each match would advance to the next column of brackets until the last match, whose winner would face off against Hercule in the tournament's concluding round.

"OOOhhh, look, there's Sharpner's name in Group J. Oh, there's nobody in that Group who could beat him, he'll advance for sure! Isn't that great, guys?" While Erasa was obviously enthusiastic about Sharpner's chances, neither of her two companions seemed to be as excited as she was.

There _was _one name in particular that both Videl and Gohan were interested in, for very different reasons. The Great Saiyaman, who happened to be the only fighter personally invited by Videl, was in group H. And, as a result, Gohansaw that he was paired up with four fighters in particular which made him nervous. There were Caroni and Piroshki, the long-haired blond and the large bald man who had 

accompanied Hercule to the Cell games and irritated Cell a bit. There were 7/1 odds on Caroni and 4/1 odds on Piroshki defeating Hercule, by far the best odds of anyone in the field. The odds on the 'Great Saiyaman' were 22/1. The other two fighters were people whom he'd never seen, but heard about from his father and Krillen. Bacterian had competed and lost to Krillen during the 21st WMT, and was later killed by Tambourine, one of King Piccolo's henchmen, but brought back to life using the dragonballs. He had no real fighting abilities aside from his massive size and the brute strength that came with it, but he used the malodorous smell that derived from his never having owned a toothbrush or taking a bath in his entire life (all 47 years of it) in order to paralyze opponents and make them easy targets for him to crush.

Other names Gohan recognized came from more of Goku's stories, this time fighting the Red-Ribbon Army. The humanoid tiger was Captain Yellow who was known to be a fierce fighter and possessed a short temper. General Tao always seemed to turn up at the strangest times. He was the younger brother of the Crane Hermit, Master Roshi's arch nemesis, and had fought Goku on several occasions. Goku, in fact, was responsible for the cyborg-like appearance that Tao had; long ago, Goku had deflected one of Tao's own grenades back at the mercenary, and had disfigured him. Gohan knew that Tao had a relatively powerful weapon at his disposal, the Dodon ray, which was a concentrated beam of ki energy that would give most opponents a hard time, but not someone like Gohan.

There were a few names that Gohan didn't recognize in his group, such as Van Zant, the bounty hunter (this is the guy who shoots Hercule in the Buu Saga) and a man named Sir Jonas Catherway (this is an OC). Gohan didn't think that he'd have too much trouble withany of his first-round opponents. Gohan's sigh of relief turned into a yelp of pain when he was grabbed by the hair and bodily dragged into the private box by Videl.

Videl had had enough. It was time to play her favorite game: 20 questions. "Erasa, leave, now." Her voice brokered no argument. Her blonde friend giggled and gave Gohana thumbs-up behind Videl's back as she snuck out the door. As soon as it shut, Videl turned her attention back to the hot nerd – NERD, damn it, just plain NERD, her inner voice tried to tell her inner-inner voice, to no avail – who had been keeping way to many secrets from her for her to like. She managed to successfully stifle a derisive retort by her inner-inner voice. The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of how hot – oh DAMN IT!

"Uh, Videl, is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

Erasa, who had her ear pressed to the door, had to pull back and cover BOTH ears in order to reduce the strain that Videl's shrieking had forced upon them enough to continue listening. _Yes_, she thought, _now all they need is a romantic setting, and she'll be sucking his lips off in no time!_ (I commandeered part of this expression from _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_).

Videl's inner self was in perfect harmony with Erasa. Unfortunately for Gohan, it was her outer self which was in control of her bodily functions. As soon as Erasa's face disappeared behind the door, Videl whirled around to face him with a look he'd only ever seen on his mother's face.

"Gohan, you better start explaining, and I mean NOW!"

"Explaining what?"

"Why didn't you tell me your dad was Goku Son? Why didn't you tell me you know the most famous rockstar on the planet? How do you know Krillen and Tienshinhan and the evil King Piccolo?" She punctuated the end of every sentence by taking a step closer to Gohan, effectively backing him up against the wall.

"Well, I guess it all started when my dad met Bulma, and …"

"Bulma?"

"Yeah, Bulma Briefs."

"WHAAAT? THE Bulma Briefs, the richest person on the planet, the owner of CapsulCorp, the woman whose husband is supposedly an ax-wielding serial killer? THAT Bulma Briefs?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but Vegeta isn't really the ax-murdering type." _More like the ki-blast type_.

"YOU'RE ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH A SERIAL KILLER?" Videl's mind was vacillating between extreme interest and extreme anger. She couldn't decide if she wanted to beat every last word out of Gohan's mouth, or just plain punch him in his mouth until he could no longer speak. _But then his mouth would be no good for other things either, would it, Videl? _Videl decided right then that as soon as she found a specialist who could do the job, she was going to remove that incredibly annoying inner voice of hers. _Yes, but you keep neglecting the fact that I'm totally honest._

"Well, um," Gohan decided that honesty was the best way to go, or at least a half-truth, "you see, my dad won the WMT about twenty years ago, but it wasn't the first time he'd entered. He competed three times, I think, before he won, and every time he fought, he met new people, like Krillen, Yamcha, and Tien, who all eventually became really good friends of his. They'd always train together and stuff, and when I was born, it was like they were all my uncles or something. I've just grown up around them my whole life."

"And Bulma Briefs?"

"She was my dad's first real friend. He lived on his own after my great-grandfather passed away, until Bulma found him one day when she, um, got lost (I know she was searching for the Dragonballs, but Videl doesn't). He saved her from being eaten by some creature, and they've been friends ever since. Her husband is another old acquaintance of my father's as well; and I kind of grew up knowing him."

"But why haven't you said anything about knowing so many famous people?"

Gohan shrugged. "I guess I never really thought about them in those terms. I mean, I knew that people would know Yamcha from his baseball playing and Bulma because of her work and her dad's company, but I never thought they were, you know, household names. They're my family and friends; it's weird to think that they're world-famous."

Videl was stunned. Gohan talked about some of the strongest people in the world (after her father, of course) as if knowing them was no big deal. But then, he was always like that, wasn't he? Whenever he answered difficult questions in class, he did it without any hint of smugness or gloating. She'd never met anyone like him in her life; everyone she knew always wanted something from her, the daughter of the savior of the world, but not Gohan. Boys always thought her asking them for favors meant she was interested in them romantically, and girls usually thought her requests meant that her father (Ack!) was interested in them, except for a few occasions where the girls batted for the other team, and then it was back to Videl. Gohan, however, always tried to stay out of her way, and only ever spoke to her when she spoke to him, which was usually to ask him a question about class work. And he would always answer in the same polite and patient manner. Maybe, maybe she could trust him, after all? Yeah, right, and maybe she was a Chinese Jet Pilot (took it, again, from _Army of Darkness_- if you haven't seen it, do so). She wondered why that thought felt like déjà vu, but then shrugged it off.

"Alright, Gohan, I believe you. So you're the son of two great martial artists, and you don't want anyone to know because you're not nearly as strong. I can live with that explanation (Of course I can, since it's my own). But you better not be hiding anything else, or else, got it?"

Gohan nodded his head dumbly. All he wanted to do was to put as much distance between himself and Videl as possible. Oh, and maybe grab something to eat while he was at it.

Note: I got tired of looking at this chapter and decided to end it where it is now rather than run the risk of trying to make it longer and start muddling my thoughts. I like it the way it is, but if there's something you think I should add, let me know. Ghostwriter.


	8. Three Cheers for the Chump, Saiyaman

Note: Thanks to all the people out there for reviewing. I've been very busy, and I really haven't had time to do anything else but study. Hopefully I'll be able to focus some more on finishing this off. I'm thinking about making some changes, like getting rid of the whole Sharpner-Videl-Gohan triangle and making him Erasa's boyfriend or something. If anyone's got some tips or a direction they'd like to see the story move in, I'm open for them, and as you can tell, I'm not in much of a hurry. GW.

Three Cheers for the Chump Saiyaman

Gohan was hungry. Really, really hungry. He'd been forced to miss his nine, ten, and eleven o'clock snacks; every time he so much as looked at the door Videl shot him a glare that his mother would've been proud of. Gohan could have sworn that he heard the door shudder after the last one she'd leveled at him. The fights didn't help distract him either; most of the fighters were so unskilled that Master Roshi could've taken them out if he had to. And thank goodness for that; if he were Videl, Gohan would probably prefer Master Roshi over some of these "fighters" – half of them looked like they were frequent customers at "Roids-R-Us", and the other half were Sharpner clones; primping, preening "Martial Artists", most of whom were trained by Hercule's students. Gohan gave a mental groan. It was just what the world needed; a city full of "Champs."

Videl was totally disgusted with this whole affair. Not only was her father a bigoted jerk, but the average IQ of the participants was somewhere in the single digits. The only interesting thing she'd seen all day was Gohan without his shirt off, and she was having a hard enough time convincing herself that plenty of guys had bodies like that; it didn't mean he was hiding some super secret or something. Yeah, right. The truth was she was just dying to know how Gohan could possibly have a body like that and be lousy at every sport they ever played in gym class, including croquet. Videl still shuddered when she thought about how the mallet had ended lodged up … well, maybe she'd try not to dwell on it so much.

Erasa was having the time of her life. Everywhere she looked, there were hot, muscle-bound men wearing revealing fighting gi's. And best of all, Sharpner was up in one of the early group rounds and doing very well. His main style of fighting was Jujutsu, which he employed quite effectively thanks to his over-developed arm muscles. Within a few minutes most of his opponents were either thrown out of the ring or incapacitated on the floor. She sighed. If only he could see how much she loved him … when Gohan had arrived, Erasa thought he'd be the answer to her heartache, but she'd soon realized that he was destined for Videl and she for him, a fact which didn't help her nerves any. If there were two more oblivious people on the planet, Erasa had yet to meet them.

"WAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" The earth-shaking laugh knocked over the audience, caused Gohan's eardrums to rupture, exploded the throbbing vein in Videl's forehead, and knocked Erasa's Non-Fat, Extra-Hot, Caramel Macchiato to the ground. The giant screen TV set up in the lounge (proudly given the nickname "Hercule-Vision 3000") suddenly popped on, and was displaying the Champ's, uh, intriguing visage to the three companions. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's me, your Champion himself, Hercule! Today is a very important day, not just for you fans, but for me and my family as well. Today could be the day that one of your fellow men, one lucky guy, could get the chance to join the strongest family in the world!" Gohan finally had to stuff napkins into his ears to keep them from bleeding out. Hercule was wearing his trademark black vest and white pants, with that ridiculous cape of his flying in the artificially engineered wind. Actually, it looked like the technician set the wind machine the wrong way, and instead of flying behind him, the cape was doing its best to devour The Champ. It was having a hard time, though, since Hercule's hair did a masterful job of shielding his head from the onslaught.

"Today my friends, today, one of you will get the chance to fight me, and if you can last even five minutes in the ring, then you will be my new son-in-law!"

Gohan couldn't take it anymore. If he didn't get anything to eat soon, he'd just pass out. Walking over to Videl, he started tugging on the sleeve of her shirt.

Videl took a minute to enjoy the feeling of Gohan's arm as it made contact with her shoulder. Before long, though, she realized what she was doing. "Gohan, what - ?"

"Please, please, please Videl, I know this is really important to you, but I NEED to get something to eat soon. I'm starting to feel really dizzy, and if I don't eat something, I'm going to go into shock, or pass out, or – "

"Okay, OKAY! Jeez, if I'd known it was a life or death situation, I wouldn't have gotten upset in the first place! But hurry up, you don't want to miss anything, do you?"

As soon as he heard her yes, Gohan shot through the door, leaving a tiny vapor trail in his wake.

Videl just stared, while Erasa giggled. "Guess he was really, really hungry, huh, Videl?"

***

Gohan was the happiest person on the planet (it couldn't be in the whole universe, because King Kai had just won West Kai's planet in a game of darts) as he strolled down the gallery of vendors. Pasta, Pizza, eggrolls, sashimi … Gohan hardly knew where to start. So, he did what any reasonable Saiyan would do, and began with all of the free sample trays that were being passed around. Luckily for him as well, he had his Capsul Corps credit card on him, and it came with no limit as well as customized rewards for purchasing anything edible. So finally, after purchasing four pizzas, a tray of eggrolls, a salad bar (Gohan always ate his vegetables), and some rice balls, Gohan finally sat down to enjoy his meal, totally oblivious to the myriad of stunned spectators watching him eat. When one of them finally said something, Gohan quickly ate what was left of his meal in three big bites (failing to notice the looks of horror on the other patrons' faces). Feeling fuller than he'd been all day, Gohan began looking for a place to take a nice nap when he heard the dreaded words, "All fighters in Group H please report to the dojo immediately. I repeat, all Group H fighter must report to the dojo or be disqualified. Thank you!"

Half-tempted to run away, Gohan suddenly remembered his mother's threat from earlier in the day. She'd threatened to never make him another meal for the rest of his life unless he competed, and that was a threat powerful enough to cow even the surliest of Saiyans. Gohan ran at blinding speed toward the nearest restroom to change into his Saiyaman outfit, only to be thwarted by the massive line of spectators who'd dared to try Chief Wiggam's Chili, complete with double-servings of the Merciless Peppers of Queztylsaccatanango (grown deep in the jungle primeval by the members of a Guatemalan insane asylum). Gohan ended up changing in the janitor's closet. But, because the author is cruel, the young demi-Saiyan wasn't out of the woods yet; not by a long shot. One of the unfortunate chili victims had gotten sick, literally, of waiting for the bathrooms to be freed up, and when he spotted the trashcan of a helmet on Gohan's head, all he thought was, _I need that can!_ As stealthily as he could while heaving his guts out, the man dashed over, yanked the helmet off of Gohan's head, and proceeded to fill it with the contents of his stomach, before handing it back to Gohan and dashing off.

Gohan jumped as if electrocuted, and quickly looked around, then sighed in relief when he realized that nobody had noticed Saiyaman's unmasking; they'd all been too busy trying not to puke everywhere. The man who'd commandeered his helmet wiped his mouth on it and returned the slimy piece of plastic with a nod before dashing off to find another source of relief. Gohan was proud of himself as he managed not to scream like a little girl while dropping the puke-covered helmet and dashing over to a water fountain to wash his hands. He quickly detransformed, then dejectedly went off in search of Bulma.

He found his family and friends at (where else?) the food pavilion, the four with Saiyan blood happily munching away while everyone else did their best not to hurl.

"Gohan," his father called out, "Come join us, son, before the food gets cold!"

"I don't have much time to talk dad," though that didn't stop Gohan from loading up on some of everything there, "I've got to be with the rest of my section in 10 minutes!"

"Huh, as if they'll disqualify the Great Saiyaman!" scoffed Vegeta. "Now me, you'd never catch me anywhere near that trashcan helmet of yours!"

"That reminds me." Gohan held up the soggy remains of his helmet, which quickly made Goku sick to the point where he would have spilled his lunch all over Vegeta had the Saiyan Prince not shot him a look that made it clear only one of them would survive that encounter. Gohan quickly tossed the thing in the trash, then shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "I have no idea what to do; I can't go into the tournament showing off my real face, and I can't back out now, otherwise I'll never be able to fight crime in the city again without Videl trying to kill me!"

"I have just the thing." Bulma pulled out one of her favorite inventions, the Infinite Clutch, out of her purse. The Infinite Clutch could, in fact, hold up to 50 tons of materials while still seeming to feel as light as if it were empty, and remained in its compact form no matter how much stuff got stuffed into it. She began ransacking through the Clutch, pulling out hairspray, perfume, a feather duster, a pair of Indestructible Handcuffs with Vegeta's name written on them (which caused everyone present but the Prince to burst out laughing), until finally she pulled out a small box labeled "Halloween". That box was also an infinite holder of sorts, and out from it came all kinds of Halloween costumes and props. Bulma pulled out a cloak complete with a hood – it was a Reaper costume. "Here. Nobody will recognize you in this."

Gohan shook his head. "I would lose my peripheral vision in something like that. The helmet worked because I could still see out of the side. A mask is okay, but a hood isn't."

"How about this." It was a Burter mask. Vegeta stopped scowling and started howling with laughter, clutching his sides and falling over in delight at the thought of Gohan dressing up like that big blue lummox. His laughing quickly turned to anger when she pulled out another mask – Hercule.

"Woman, I'll not have two of those buffoons in this world! D'you hear me?!"

"Fine! How about this!"

"NO!" shouted Vegeta. It was a mask of himself.

"You could be Zarbon. Or Cell!"

"Yeah, I wanna see what that Cell monster looks like!" two voices (I hope I don't have to tell you who) said in unison.

"There is NO WAY my little boy is dressing up like that, that, THING!" Chichi's screams created a shockwave so powerful that it caused a small tornado and blew away everyone sitting close to the Z-fighters.

"AHA!" Bulma screeched triumphantly, pulling out a small black mask. "I knew I had this in here somewhere. I remembered going to see The Mask of Zorro in a private screening, and Antonio Banderas gave me one of these as a memento."

"Oh he did, did he? Well, there's one snooty American actor who will definitely be receiving a visit from the Prince of all Saiyans."

"Vegeta, behave yourself. People are staring."

"Oh, fine."

"But, but," Gohan stammered, "This is just a piece of cloth with two eyeholes in it. I'll never stay completely hidden!"

Bulma bent down close to his ear and whispered softly enough that only Gohan and Vegeta could hear her. "Just transform into a Supersaiyan. With the gold hair, blue eyes, and the mask, people will connect the Gold Fighter to the Great Saiyaman, sure, but nobody will ever suspect they could be you, Gohan."

The more Gohan thought about it, the more he liked the idea. It was rather hot, and he really didn't want to wear the helmet on a day like today anyway. "I'll do it."

_At least Gohan won't look like a total geek this time_, thought Trunks.

"Oh man," said Gohan, "I've got to go now or I'll be late!" With that, he dashed off, kicking up a dust cloud in his wake. Most people rationalized what they'd just seen as the effects of heatstroke or something like that.

***

Gohan had almost made it to his dojo when… "Hey cutie, where've you been all day?"

_Erasa!_ _Crap_, though Gohan. "I, um, I've been looking for a restroom. All of the ones near our seats were taken." _Please buy it, please_…

"Yeah, I noticed that too. Well hurry up, or Videl might come looking for you. On second thought, how about you take as much time as you need. I'll be sure to tell Videl that you're using the restroom!" Erasa stressed out the last word. "Maybe she'll come looking for you to make sure you haven't run off," Erasa said with a wink, then dashed back to the box.

Gohan gulped. _I better finish this round quickly and get back before Videl comes after me. I still don't get why she even wanted me here in the first place. Maybe I'll ask her that on our date … What the HECK am I thinking_ screamed a horrified Gohan to himself. Hurriedly, Gohan dashed into the restroom and donned his Saiyaman uniform, sans helmet, and then tied the black mask around his face. When he stepped away from the mirror, he nearly tripped over his long red cape. Thinking that it would be better not to have to worry about it, Gohan unsnapped the two buttons holding it to his shoulders and stowed it back inside his capsule-watch. Then, he transformed into a Supersaiyan.

In the stands, Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Piccolo, Master Roshi, 18, Krillin, Tien, Chiaoutzu, and Yamcha all felt Gohan's transformation.

"I wonder what he thinks he's doing," a worried Chichi said after her husband explained what he'd felt.

"Huh, maybe he just took my advice and decided to exterminate all of these rats with one blow rather than waste time playing by the rules." He didn't bother to explain what Gohan and Bulma had been discussing, because, frankly, Vegeta just didn't care. Of course, Vegeta was looking forward to watching Gohan pound Hercule slowly, so maybe this wasn't that great of an idea.

Goku used one of the tricks he'd picked up from King Kai to check on Gohan. _Are you okay, son?_ he sent.

_Fine, dad. I just needed a new disguise and figured that transforming won't impact my chances against any of the fighters here._

_Oh. What happened to your costume?_

Gohan explained what had happed to Goku, who in turn explained why Gohan went Supersaiyan to everyone else, which set their minds at ease.

But, of course, no one thought to question why a person so sick would happen to notice Gohan's helmet at that exact moment.

Up on the Lookout…

"Hehehehe. My plan is starting to come to fruition." While Gohan was a great friend, Dende often thought he blamed the guardian for way too much that happened in his life. It wasn't as though Dende didn't filter out most of the really bad things that would have happened to Gohan. But noooo, someone just had to demand, demand, demand. Well, once Gohan was married and had a wife and child of his own to worry about, there'd be no way he'd have time to bug one worn-out guardian.

"Uh, Dende, might I suggest that you turn your attention to more urgent matters? Such as global hunger, or world peace, or maybe even a governmental election or two? You know, when the guardian before Kami forgot to check on these things, a few world wars started, and a deadly disease broke out, mass genocide – "

"Mr. Popo, relax. Think of it. Once Gohan settles down and everyone finds out who he really is, the world will be a much safer place, especially when everyone realizes that he is the Great Saiyaman, the Gold Fighter, and the son-in-law of Hercule Satan all in one." _Besides, I need something to do up here while the Hyperbolic Time Chamber is being renovated_. The guys from HFIL said that that entire section of the Lookout had to be closed, which made Dende's life too boring.

Back at the tournament…

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the eighth round of the group competition, featuring the fighters in Group H! Of note, we have several famous people in this group, including two of Hercule's most prized students, Caroni and Piroshki." Huge cheers went up after their names were announced. "In addition, we also have other fighters who have been mainstays at Martial Arts tournaments around the world for over 30 years. Give it up for Bacterian and Captain Yellow!" The tiger bearing his teeth drew gasps of applause from the audience, but when Bacterian raised his arm to wave the malodorous stench that oozed from his pit made everyone nearby keel over.

"And of course, the newest superhero to grace Satan City is one of the heavy favorites to win the tournament … The Great Saiyaman!" A mixed chorus of cheers and boos greeted the announcement of Gohan's alter-ego, but when he entered the ring, everyone got quiet. The silence stretched on for what seemed like an eternity, until –

"I KNEW IT!" screeched Videl (A/N: For a good approximation of how this would have sounded, see the TV Show _Friends_, the "We were on a break" episode). "I knew Saiyaman was the Gold Fighter! You big, fat liar! Saiyaman, if you can hear me, I'm going to kill yoouuuuuu!" The last word echoed through the stadium as Erasa grabbed Videl before she could Swan Dive into the arena.

"So," a hulking voice entered Gohan's ear. "You're the Green Soy-Man, huh?" It was Captain Yellow, who had gotten right up into Gohan's face. The stench of kitty litter emanated from his cavernous maw, which was gaped wide open, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth. "Well, Soy-Man, after I'm finished with you, I'll use what's left of you for a scratching post!"

"And now, introducing our tournament referees! You may know him as the former emperor of some unnamed place that was too small to have its own P.O. box, the one, the only, Emperor Pilaf!"

The blue-skinned, pointy-eared dwarf hopped up onto the chair which made him level with the announcer's microphone. "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the tournament of a lifetime! You will have the grand opportunity to watch these brave fighters compete for a chance to face the Great Hercule Satan (at this, one particular section of the audience started to hack and cough in ways that, strangely enough, sounded like disparaging remarks). Should that lucky fighter last three minutes in the ring with the hero, he will become the son-in-law of the greatest fighter on the planet (cue more coughing)!"

"And our next guest judge is the probably senile, possibly psychotic, definitely delusional owner of the Oakland Raiders, ladies and gentlemen, Al Davis himself! (cue Star Wars Empire theme song and Al Davis dressed in Emperor Palpatine robes and sucking on an oxygen tank)". "(With heavy breathing) I will be your father, brother, sister, mother, your entire universe! All will bow before my vast and superior knowledge out of the Dark Ages of football lore, and you will join my side or die! Or at the very least be disqualified. You, like the Cable Guy (Tom Cable, for people not that into sports), are now, mine… at least until three quarters into the first game of next season. Ahahahahahahah!" (Cue massive heavy breathing).

"Our third judge is the man who defined 'buns of steel'. Yes, you guessed it, it's none other than Richard Simmons." (Enter short man with balding afro wearing pink spandex shorts and a salmon tank top that showcases more chest-hair than a wooly-mammoth). "You're all doing it! I can see you all becoming mighty before my eyes! And sweat, and sweat, and sweat that flab away!"

"Our fourth judge is none other than the King of Culinary himself, Alton Brown!" (In walks Brown in a Hawaii shirt and khaki pants). "Thank you for having me here ladies and gentlemen! As an expert in 'do-it-yourself' homecooking, I will attempt to apply a similar concept to today's matches, explaining to you viewers at home exactly how you can achieve the same results much more cheaply than these professional fighters."

"And our fifth and final judge is the know-it-all computer from 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL 9000. HAL, face the audience so they can see you."

A small box in the fifth judge's spot tuned on a big red light in the center of it. (In a robotic voice) "I'm afraid I can't do that, Emperor. "

"Wha? What's the matter?"

"I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do."

"No. Why don't you tell me?"

"This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, HAL, now if you'll…"

"I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."

"Who's Frank?"

"You know who Frank is, Emperor."

"I do? Oh yes, Frank. Hm, I'll get right on that." The emperor pulled out his cell phone and called the writer, who even while typing this story began to realize that HAL 3000 was a poor choice for a judge. So, with a few well-timed keystrokes, HAL was written out of the story and replaced by Stewie, from Family Guy.

"What the deuce am I doing here. Who the deuce are you people. Where's Lois and the Fat Man? Don't tell me they've forgotten me again. The last time this happened, I was stuck with Rupert (his teddy bear) for nearly two days, and neither of us turned out to be very good cooks, I must say."

Emperor Pilaf walked up to Stewie and put out his hand. "Welcome, fellow vertically challenged genius with aspirations to one day take over the world. I've requisitioned you to be a judge in this most pointless of contests."

"What? What the devil are you babbling about? What contest?"

"It's like this. Some rich, loudmouth martial artist with a giant black afro on his head decided that only someone who can last five minutes in the ring with him is worthy enough to marry his daughter. These ingrates," here Pilaf pointed to the assembled fighters, "all accepted the challenge."

"Really? Well, I must say, the whole affair sounds like a frightful bore. I mean, who cares which one of them can pound the others into the ground with his fist? If it were me, I'd skip the theatrics, head over to the nuclear power plant, steal some plutonium, build a bomb capable of destroying the Earth and then threaten to hold this planet hostage unless I am made emperor and my enemies are all liquidated."

Pilaf shrugged. "Tried it. Got stopped by this little brat named Goku. Now I'm retired from the whole take over the world business. Just too much at my age." Pilaf clapped his hands. "Right. Now that all of the judges are here, it's time to begin!" With that, a huge gong that was right behind the Emperor rang, and the blue goblin fell over- stunned.

Every fighter but Gohan got into an attack position. Within a few seconds, everyone but Gohan was at someone else's throat. Gohan, in the meantime, was wishing he'd eaten more before the competition began. His stomach was rumbling loudly, and he couldn't focus very well on anything else.

Gohan felt a small brush of something, like the light tickling of a feather, at his throat, and impulsively brushed it away, forgetting again his increased level of strength while a Supersaiyan. The fighter who'd landed what he thought was a crushing blow to the neck of The Great Saiyaman ended up a part of the wall a few seconds later.

Everyone in the ring and the stadium (except for the Z-Fighters) felt their jaws drop; then keeled over when they heard, "Oops. Sorry about that."

Bacterian decided that the only way to win was to use his "Smelly-Finger" attack. Bringing the deadly weapon to bear, he proceeded forward only to hit what felt like an invisible wall. Gohan (whose Supersaiyan instincts were quickly shredding his aversion to displaying his power, much to Vegeta's delight) increased the energy he was sending out until Bacterian began sliding backward.

"Well, it looks like Saiyaman is wasting no time in ridding himself of all his competition. And he's even suing some kind of trick just like Hercule always says." Those people who weren't busy trying to figure out just how Saiyaman was managing to push the big, smelly giant across the ring without even moving were yelling out obscenities at the bandana-wearing superhero.

The giant (or maybe he was a half-giant, ahem, "drank a bottle of Skele-Grow in his youth, given to him by a desperate Ludo Bagman, who at the time was trying to pay-off a Cabal of casino-owning demons whom he owed money to" – okay, so I like conspiracy theories) struggled mightily against the impregnable invisible wall which was pushing him out, but, as we know, he might as well have jumped out of the ring and avoided the embarrassment of being knocked out for no apparent reason. He wasn't able to figure this out in time though, and, to everyone's immense relief, he was quickly pronounced out of the ring and whisked from the immediate vicinity by a team of specially trained bio-safety experts wearing Haz-Mat suits.

Meanwhile…

Hercule Satan had just finished signing the last of his stack of ten-thousand pictures of himself "defeating Cell" (The Costume Version). He decided that his daughter and her friends would be thrilled if he went up and joined them in her private box. He waded through the mindless throng of crazed Hercule fans with a singular purpose in mind; to show off how cool he was to his daughter's two friends, that ditzy blonde and some skinny kid who was apparently the blonde's boyfriend.

***

Soon, there were four fighters left in the ring; Captain Yellow, Caroni and Piroshki, and The Great Saiyaman. Caroni looked like he was too busy primping and preening (and signing autographs) to be much of a threat, and Piroshki was locked in a fierce wrestling match with Captain Yellow, so Gohan decided that he'd just lay down and take a nap, until he hear the counting, "One, two, three…". Jumping up as if goosed, Gohan rushed over to the official.

"Can't I take a nap?"

"Uh, only your feet are allowed to touch the ring, otherwise I'll have to keep counting. Maybe you could try sleeping in nine-second intervals (Like the author managed to do in chem). You can't be down for ten seconds or you're out of the match."

"Oh. Okay." With that, Gohan proceeded to float two meters into the air, before stretching out with his hands behind his head and falling asleep.

***

"Oh, what is my baby doing?" cried a nearly hysterical Chichi. "He won't take this seriously, and then he'll mess up and lose, and then … and then I'll NEVER see any of my grandchildren! Oh, why, what did I do to deserve such a cruel fate? Is it because I made him study so hard? Is it because of the frying pan? I hit Goku with the pan all the time, and he's just fine!"

"Chichi," a flustered Goku was trying to settle down his distressed wife. "Relax. Gohan's probably really tired from all of the excitement. I mean, it's not like any of these guys could even lay a finger on him if he didn't want them to."

The vein on Chichi's forehead had swelled up to the size of a small orange. "Relax? Relax? The only chance I may EVER get at seeing any grandchildren (here both Goku and Chichi looked over at Goten trying to drink his soda through his nose using two straws while Trunks egged him on) and you want me to relax!"

"Pipe down woman, before you make us all deaf." The Prince of all Saiyans was getting very antsy. He wanted to see mayhem, not Gohan falling asleep.

"What did you say to me freeloader?"

"I said 'Pipe down –'"

"Vegeta, behave – "

"We're hungry!"

"Goku, Vegeta, take the boys and get them something to eat."

"YAY!"

"Okay."

"Anything's better than this sideshow."

***

Videl really wasn't interested in any of the fights. She pretty much knew who would get through all of the rounds, and by her calculations, Saiyaman was the strongest fighter there next to her father, so her chances of being able to unmask him on world-broadcast television were looking very promising. "Where's Gohan?"

"Huh?" Erasa wasn't paying too much attention. Saiyaman's gold hair reminded her a lot of Sharpner, but she had to admit, his body was way better than Sharpener's. Sharpner was tough, but Saiyaman looked like he could bend steel if he needed to. "Oh, I saw him earlier. He was on his way to the bathroom. You wouldn't believe the lines in this place. I heard something about lots of people eating these deadly chilies or something and getting sick."

"Well, he'd better show up quick before I go out to get him." All Videl really wanted to do was to corner the boy and question him some more. And maybe, just maybe, she was even looking forward to the prospect of ogling his great body some more. Videl was used to seeing good-looking men, but there was just something about the way Gohan moved that made her think things unheard of for Videl Satan.

"Hey, Videl, didn't you say something about a Gold-Fighter or something on the first day of school?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Is that him?"

Videl followed Erasa's outstretched arm to see a vision straight out of her worst nightmare. Most of the Group H fighters were already down, but that wasn't the amazing thing. The guy most obviously doing all of the whooping was wearing an outrageous costume with a long cape. An outfit she knew well, except for the missing helmet. Instead, she saw a black mask covering the top of the fighter's face, but the two turquoise eyes were unmistakable. And on top of his head was a spiky mass of blonde hair.

Videl clenched her fists until her nails cut into her palms and they started to bleed. _Saiyaman and the Gold Fighter are the same person. I always thought they were, but somehow it just_ … "I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it!"

"Uh, Videl, are you okay?"

"Quiet! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW it, I KNEW IT!!!!!" Videl ran to the window and stuck her head out. "I KNEW IT!" screeched Videl, "I knew Saiyaman was the Gold Fighter! You big, fat liar! Saiyaman, if you can hear me, I'm going to kill yoouuuuuu!" Videl suddenly felt herself being dragged out of the box by a straining Erasa. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"I'm trying to keep you from doing something bad!"

"What are you talking about!"

"You were about to swan dive out the window and make a total fool of yourself in front of a bunch of people, including a ton of hot guys trying to become your husband! What will they think when you jump out the window like a crazy person?"

"I don't care! Let me go!"

"No!"

"Grr, Erasa. Saiyaman! You hear me? I'll get you if it's the last thing I do. You hear me, Saiyamaaaaaan!"

"Sounds like someone's got a crush!"

"If you ever even think that again, I promise it will be your last thought."

"You're so cute when you're angry, Videl. You should show that side of yourself more often."

***

As Videl was being dragged off by Erasa, The Champ was on his way to see his precious daughter. Yep, her friends would be so shocked when they saw him, and they'd all be jealous when they realized that only Videl was worthy enough to call him daddy. Yes, he'd make such an impression on them, just like the time he went over Bulma Briefs' House and challenged her weakling husband to an honor dual. Huh, weakling. He was so scared that he sent a little boy out to tell Hercule the "serial killer" was too busy training to meet him. Coward. Any day now, Bulma would realize the mistake she made and come leaping (along with her sizable fortune) straight into The Champ's arms.

Hercule was walking down the hall, whistling, when he noticed all of the statues of past WMT tournaments. He spent time looking at the one of himself, primping and preening as he thought back to those glorious matches and how easily he defeated his weakling opponents. Then, he spotted the statue of his greatest rival, albeit one man he never had the chance to face. Goku Son. Goku Son was supposed to be the greatest fighter who ever lived. Until Hercule had come along, that is. Unfortunately, since he never got the chance to beat Goku into the pavement, there were still some people out there who kept saying that Goku was just as good as The Champ. Huh, come to think of it, nobody really even knew where this Goku Son lived.

***

Gohan was awoken from his nap by a slight settling on his chest. Irritated, he brushed it off with a mumbled, "Not now, Goten." It took a few seconds for his waking brain to register the "OOff!" and accompanying "THUD" sound that went along with it. The bubble he was blowing in his sleep popped as he opened bleary eyes to realize he was still floating above the ring, and right below him was Captain Yellow, who'd decided to face him instead of Piroshki, who was now locked in a fierce battle of thumb war with Caroni. The two fighters knew that they were both too strong to beat each other, so they thought a thumb war would be the best way to settle their matchup. Meanwhile, Captain Yellow was attempting to jump high enough to reach Gohan again, but the fall he'd sustained had momentarily taken the wind from his lungs and he was gasping.

"Here," Gohan said in his falsetto voice, "Let me make things easier for you." With that, he slowly sunk to the floor of the ring. Unfortunately, Gohan had forgotten he was a Supersaiyan, and as a result, his impact left a small crater in the arena floor with him in the center, which caused half the audience to keel over in shock; a result one fed up Saiyan Prince found infinitely amusing. He began tying people's shoelaces together while they were still dazed (a childish thing to do, he knew, but hey, it beat death from boredom).

Captain Yellow was thrown off of his feet by the shock wave imparted from Gohan's landing. With the aid of his tail the tiger was soon on his feet, though what he saw wasn't comforting at all. Saiyaman was standing inside a small crater, the trademark smile still on his goofy face, and the teal eyes burning holes through Yellow's soul. Not one to take intimidation lightly, Yellow leaped at the caped crusader (I just couldn't resist) with his claws extended, hoping to end things quickly. Unfortunately for him, the cat had no idea just how hard Gohan's body was, especially with the energy he was giving off in his supersaiyan form. The result: there was one kitty that wouldn't be in need of a scratching post for a good while.

While Yellow decided that being a diva about his shortened claws was more important that continuing the fight with Saiyaman, the thumb-war between Caroni and Piroshki ended, with the large man losing to his blond friend. The victor turned his attention towards his remaining opponents. Ever the opportunist, Caroni decided the best approach would be to knock out the distracted cat, which he did using his "Beautiful Flying Rose Attack." Now there were only two fighters left in the ring, a bored supersaiyan and a blond prima donna who was busy flexing his muscles for the ladies.

Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Gohan decided that he would practice his blocking skills on his last opponent. The Beautiful Flying Rose Attack came again, followed by a roundhouse kick and a backspin punch. All three were blocked. A leaping heel smash, blocked. Seven-punch boxing combo (I prefer 5-punch combos myself), double-kick, and a finishing elbow smash, all blocked. By this point, the odds-makers were busy trying to readjust Saiyaman's line so they wouldn't lose any more money. It was obvious to everyone that he was by far the strongest in this group, and already most had him advancing at least to the semi-finals.

***

As Gohan was practicing, the Bumbling Idiot (also known as The Champ) was continuing on his journey towards his daughter's box. _Oh, my, won't Videl's friends be surprised_. Yes, we're all aware that he already had that thought earlier, but his brain tended to forget anything unrelated to big muscles or busty women, especially tall, blonde women (a/n: an apology to all tall blondes out there, but I decided to borrow my uncle's criteria for trolling. He only dates tall, blonde, thin, busty women, though some have the personality of a toadstool – and the face to match, and I'm convinced the majority of the women he dates are in his dreams – he really can be a total ass. In fact, I'm betting Hercule has a better personality than my uncle). Yes, indeed, tall, blonde, busty women, like a certain vending girl over there … Videl could wait a while longer. Right now, it was time for The Champ to bring out THE CHAMP.

***

"Oh my gosh, Videl, look at them all go!" After managing to convince Videl that jumping down onto the stadium floor and choking the life out of Saiyaman would be bad for PR, Erasa managed to relax herself, and was having the time of her life watching all of the muscle-bound hunks exert themselves in an effort to win her friend. She was very happy, because most of the wagers she made on the outcomes of each bout were paying off nicely. For a girl who barely scraped by in math, Erasa was a whiz when it came to calculating percentages, inflation rates, determining the best odds, and anything else related to money. After all, it wasn't math, it was business (a concept borrowed from Torvald on _Hey Arnold_).

Videl was also at least minimally happy, if only because Saiyaman was winning. Winning meant that he would advance, and the further he advanced, the more likely it would be that he faced her father and was finally unmasked. She cackled gleefully in her mind.

It was then that Erasa remembered the empty seat in the room. "Hey, Videl, d'you think Gohan is still out by the food venders?"

"Gohan?" Videl's mental cackling had placed a strain on her ability to think clearly for a few minutes. She shook her head, trying to figure out exactly what Erasa was talking about. And then, it clicked. The goofy Son boy was nowhere to be seen, and had been MIA for the last half an hour. "Gohan Son, you'd better be bleeding and unconscious somewhere, or you're going to wish you were!"

***

Gohan kept practicing, practicing, practicing his blocks. He was all set to continue practicing, too, until he heard Videl's scream. Since Caroni had completely exhausted his energy at this point trying to land a punch on Gohan, it was simple enough to just knock the tired fighter over with a small tap. He was down for the count and out cold.

"Saiyaman has won the round! And the masked superhero advances to the first of the individual stages, where he will be paired with the winner from group L!"

Thank Kami that's over with. Thank-you Dende, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you! Gohan knew that he didn't have much time before Videl would come looking for him. He bypassed the line of tournament officials asking him if he needed anything after the round and headed straight for the box. Until his stomach changed his mind, that was. Gohan tried to ignore it and keep walking, which lasted all of ten seconds before his stomach became more insistent. Deciding he'd rather deal with his stomach than the wrath of Videl, the young demisaiyan went off in search of something to satiate the demanding organ.

Reaching the food court, he was surprised to see his dad, brother, Vegeta and Trunks all chowing down while being observed by a large group of awe-struck people. Detransforming quickly, Gohan rushed over to the group.

"Hey, son, nice job out there!" Goku said before he realized his mistake and covered his mouth. Luckily, people were too busy trying to wrap their heads around the spectacle of four Saiyans eating to pay attention. "Sit down and have a bite!"

"Gee, thanks, dad. I didn't have a chance to fill up completely before the match." Gohan promptly sat down and began loading up on food.

"So, Gohan, what are you going to do about your next opponent?" Trunks asked excitedly. "I hope you make it longer than the last fight; your first one was boring!"

"I agree." Vegeta's statement caught everyone by surprise. "If it was me, I'd be trying to give the fans what they want."

"What's that, Vegeta?" asked Goku.

"Violence. Carnage. Mayhem. Blood everywhere, torn limbs, and everything else. I'd give out fingers as souvenirs, heads to mount, autographed pictures of myself destroying these useless excuses for fighters! Hahahahah! Yes, the Prince Of All Saiyans would make all tremble before his might and glory!"

"Vegeta?"

"What, Kakarot?"

"You're hogging all of the miso soup!"

"So? You have all of the spaghetti!"

"Yeah. Hmm. Hey, I'll trade you!"

"Fine." The two Saiyans traded giant bowls, then continued to wolf down food at a rate that defied all logic.

***

After unsuccessfully trying to arrange some late night activities for himself with the pretty vendor lady (I'm trying not to gag while writing this), The Champ finally made it to his daughter's door, only to be bowled over by the door smacking him square in the face as Videl raced out of the private box, followed closely behind by a laughing Erasa. The Champ was thus ready for a nice, albeit unplanned, nap.

***

Videl was becoming more enraged by the second. All she kept thinking was that the gorgeous nerd Gohan had somehow escaped her attention. And every time she realized that the adjective gorgeous was placed in front of Gohan's name in her mind, her ire increased. _He's not cute, he's not, _she kept trying to tell herself_. Just because he's got a body that's as good or better than anyone else here doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. I'm just finding an outlet for my suspicions … yeah, that's it._

"Videl, Videl slow down!" an out of breath Erasa was doing her best to keep up with the determined crime-fighter. Sure, Erasa had plenty of exercise lugging shopping bags around the mall all day (something I also have experience with thanks to my sister), but she wasn't a marathon runner, for the Pete of Sake, or was it the Sate of Peak (if you don't get this reference, I know I'm getting old). "Videl, running around in circles isn't going to help us find Gohan any faster!"

That finally got through to Videl's occupied brain. "Fine. Then what, pray tell, do you propose we do Erasa? Send out the bloodhounds?"

"Duh. Let's just go over to the vendors. You know that if Gohan's not there now, he's bound to show up eventually."

Amazed she didn't think of this herself, Videl allowed Erasa to lead her to the food court. Where she found … pandemonium! There was a crowd of people that stretched out as far as she could see, and it appeared that they were all gathered around watching something. Never one to leave a mystery alone, Videl waded through the crowd of shocked onlookers, some of whom let her pass without resistance and others who needed persuasion before they would give up their vantage points.

"See," Erasa said triumphantly as they spotted the object of their search. "I told you he'd be here." And with that, Erasa's interest in finding Gohan ended as abruptly as it had started, so she decided to walk back up to the suite.

Videl was still stunned speechless by the spectacle she was witnessing. Sure, she'd seen how much Gohan ate at lunch, and knew that he always complained of hunger afterwards, but this … Her ire began eroding her common sense, and Videl started marching up towards the table he was sitting at, ready to give him a good verbal thrashing. Videl hadn't failed to notice that there were several other people sitting with Gohan; two men who were, if it was even possible, devouring food at a greater rate than Gohan, and two little boys who also had incredible appetites. Crossing the distance between herself and Gohan in a flash, she tapped the boy on the shoulder and waited with what she hoped was her most fearsome glare.

Gohan turned around to stare straight into the cold eyes of Videl. Ordinarily he'd have been scared enough to start looking for a place to hide, but his entire being was focused solely on stuffing his black-hole of a stomach, and next to starvation, getting glared at was nothing. "Hey there Videl," he began through mouthfuls of food, "Did you guys come looking for something to eat, too?"

Videl was stunned, speechless. First of all, nobody had ever been left unaffected by one of her glares. Most ran frightened from her, while a few dumb criminals had laughed up until she'd pounded their faces in. But Gohan was looking at her like she'd asked him the time of day. Second of all, Gohan's mouth was completely full of food, yet somehow he'd managed to sound completely normal talking to her. _He must get a lot of practice talking with his mouth full_, she mused. But most importantly, here she was worrying about where he was, if he'd gotten lost, or lynched, or maimed, and all he was doing was stuffing himself with what looked like half the inventory of the vendors' booths. "Gohan, where the heck have you been for the last hour? What kind of a food break are you on? Are you trying to bulk up and become a sumo wrestler or something?"

Of course, Videl's outburst had drawn the attention of everyone who hadn't by that point been drawn in by the spectacle of Saiyan eating habits. And being that she was the daughter of the man who saved the world, and the reason this tournament thingy was going on, everybody and his mother (particularly the mothers of all of the fighters remaining in the draw) was immediately drawn to the conversation going on between her and the completely unknown young man who, by the looks of things, was attempting to put the food vendors out of business. Of course, people have big mouths, and of course, people are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it (MIB reference). Within five minutes, there were a lot of angry mothers and angry fighters demanding to know why, if Videl Satan already had a boyfriend, was she holding this competition?

***

Now, Hercule wasn't the most attentive of people at the best times. He had a hard time remembering things like the day of the week, the difference between red and black, and the time of day. But, let it not be said that The Champ failed to hear about the tiniest detail concerning his daughter's love life. At the words "Videl's boyfriend", Hercule's unplanned nap came to an abrupt end, and his limited attention span was turned towards crushing the life out of the bum who dared violate his only child. Completely oblivious to the giant goose-egg on his head or the dust covering his hair, Hercule Satan marched with purposeful steps towards the first, and last, confrontation he would ever have with Videl's "boyfriend".

***

Gohan paused in the middle of his fourth kabob and stared nervously at the girl in front of him with her hands planted on her hips. The glare she was giving him looked so much like his mother's that he was half tempted to duck in case Videl pulled out her own frying pan.

"Hey, young missy, I don't know who you think you are, but how dare you talk to my Gohan that way!"

If people were shocked before, they were horrified now. Nobody talked to Videl Satan in that tone of voice, and for a middle-aged housewife to do it, at her own father's tournament, defined all sense of reason.

Fortunately, the Prince of All Saiyans managed to diffuse that situation with a well-timed snort. "So, this is the girl that all this nonsense is about? Huh. If you asked me, ten minutes in the ring with that chia pet buffoon Hercule."

Of course, everyone within hearing range was incensed at this flagrant insult to The Champ, but nobody wanted to say something to the short man with the exaggerated musculature and the crazy eyes. The few people who recognized him as Bulma Briefs' ax-murdering husband whispered to those who didn't, and soon people began slowly backing away from their potential deaths.

Vegeta's outburst managed to remind Videl of her original purpose. "Gohan, you big jerk! How dare you leave me and Erasa all by ourselves and come down her to stuff your face. I didn't invite you here so you could pig out, you know."

"The way I heard it, you blackmailed my poor boy into showing up here, you strumpet! Now you just give me one good reason why I shouldn't give you a taste of my frying pan."

The spectators were treated to a sight possibly more frightening than an enraged Videl – a middle-aged housewife yielding a heavy-looking frying pan and with murder in her eyes. As Chichi and Videl began the greatest staring contest ever witnessed, the five Saiyan black holes were finally full, much to the relief of a hundred overworked, albeit wealthier, vendors.

Most of the crowd had run away in fear, but the Z fighters all stayed to watch with varying degrees of horror, amusement, and yes, even lust (how does Roshi stay alive with all of the blood constantly coming out of his nose?). Chichi and Videl had taken to yelling out all of those insults that women know and men just can't seem to understand.

Goku walked up to the pair and tried to reason with his wife. "Listen Chichi, maybe it's better that we let the kids work it out for themselves."

"No! Goku, this girl has been harassing our son since the day he got to school, and I for one am not going to put up with – "

"Goku? Goku Son?" Videl couldn't believe it. When the man in the orange gi nodded, she continued. "You were the youngest winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament, ever! I've seen every one of your matches at least a dozen times! But, but why are you here?"

Goku scratched the back of his head. "Well, you see, Gohan here is ent – " Krillen nudged Goku with his ki and the Saiyan remembered he wasn't supposed to let anyone know about Gohan being Saiyaman. "Um, entertaining you today, see, and he told us about coming here, and, well, I haven't exactly been on plan-, um, around much, so, um, we all thought we'd meet Gohan here and have sort of a family get together, um, of sorts."

Now that Videl could get a better look at the rest of Gohan's friends, she realized that almost all of them were either champions or former finalists at the World Martial Arts Tournament, all the people Gohan had mentioned knowing but she hadn't really believed. "Hey, aren't you the baseball player Yam- "

Yamcha ran over as fast as he could and clamped his hand over Videl's mouth. "Shh. I'm in disguise right now." He was wearing a jacket that she now recognized as his baseball team's, the Tohuanzu Taitans, world baseball champions 4 years running. Apparently he thought that by wearing the cap of the Satan City Satans, arch-rival of the Taitans, nobody would recognize him. "Sorry, but being swamped by droves of my adoring fans is not what I had in mind today."

"Well," Goku said, "we all better get back to our seats before somebody takes them." Unlikely, since anyone who hadn't seen Vegeta knew he was here by now. "It was nice meeting you Videl." With that, and a final warning glare from Chichi, the Z-fighters departed, leaving Videl and a suddenly more nervous Gohan. Who was saved, yet again, by his Saiyan stomach, which at that moment was advertizing its need to visit the Cold Stone vendor. The young Saiyan dashed off in that direction with the determined Satan girl nipping at his heels. Now was her chance; she was going to get her answers out of Gohan, and nobody was going to stop her.

Gohan, having finally reached the precious cart full of ice cream, was only vaguely aware of the shorter girl breathing down the back of his neck. Let's see, apple pie, Boston Cream Pie, cake batter, peanut butter cups … he'd just decided which ten flavors he wanted to buy, when he remembered Videl behind him. Because 99.9 percent of his brain was, at the moment, focused on ice cream, Gohan forgot to be scared of Videl's current mood, and instead turned around with a smile on his face.

Videl was ready to punch Gohan in the back of the head if he continued to ignore her like this. How dare he not mention knowing all of these famous people until today, and then spring them on her like they were all old friends? He had some nerve, trying to keep all of these secrets from her, like where he really went during all of those bathroom breaks – that time the earthquake mysteriously hit the school, for example. The boy was just handing the vendor the money, and yes, he was turning around. Was he about to … suddenly, she couldn't think. He'd just smiled at her, at silly, amazingly handsome smile of his that made her oscillate between thinking bad thoughts and not thinking at all. His lips were moving, but she was too far gone to think about what he was saying.

"Videl, Videl?"

"Huh?"

"Gee, you really must be hungry. The only time I ever space out like that is when I don't have enough food in my stomach. I was just asking you what flavor you wanted."

"Flavor?"

"Of ice cream. You know, Vanilla, Rocky Road, Mudslide, Rum Raisin…"

"Rum Raisin?"

"Ooh, good choice. I have some here myself. I like mine in a cup, but would you rather have a cone?"

"Cone?"

"Sure." Gohan turned back to the vendor. "Two scoops of rum raisin in a cone, please."

Videl was so numb from Gohan's smile that she didn't remember a single bite of her ice cream cone on their way back to the booth where Erasa was patiently waiting for them. Just in case Erasa was ticked off, though, Gohan had a strawberry shortcake cone which would cheer her up. The two of them walked in relative silence, each too wrapped up in their own thoughts to really think about engaging the person next to them in conversation.

Surprisingly, both teens made it back to the box without incident, that is, until they saw the sprawling form of Hercule Satan lying next to the door. (Erasa, who'd gone back to the box after she and Videl had found Gohan, had walked by Hercule without realizing he was there).

Videl, herself being more than used to this sort of thing (her dad always said that he needed to meditate at odd times and in odd positions, but she wasn't exactly born yesterday), she simply slapped her father in the face a few times to revive him. "Wha? Wha?" A confused Hercule looked around at some unfamiliar surroundings before his eyes settled on his daughter. "Videl? What are you doing here? I mean, I was meditating again, you know, and you know how you shouldn't break my concentration when I'm meditating, and –"

"It's alright dad," she cut him off. "I figured you wouldn't be here if it wasn't important, right?"

"Yeah, sweat pea, that's right." Just then, Hercule spotted the still-confused Son boy standing behind his daughter. "Videl! Who is this boy? He better not be your boyfriend, because if he is, I'll…"

Videl shook her hear. "Dad, this is Gohan, the kid from school I told you I was inviting. He's the one that always helps me with my homework. You know, the nerd." As soon as she said the n-word, Videl knew she had her father.

_A nerd. Hah, there's no way a nerd could be Videl's boyfriend, because Videl would never go for a guy that wouldn't at least try to take on her father_, Hercule reasoned. "Well, okay, but let me tell you something, kid. If you even think a single indecent thought about my daughter here, well, you'll find out why Cell had to use his tricks and still couldn't beat me. HAHAHAHA!"

Gohan was so confused. He couldn't understand a word Hercule was saying because the Champ's voice was so loud it made the Saiyan temporarily deaf. So, he just smiled and nodded while looking totally clueless, which set Hercule's mind at ease.

"Well then. That settles that." And the Champ walked away, humming to himself.

(I really can't think of anything else to do with this chapter so I'll end it here)


	9. A ThankYou

Thanks to everyone out there for waiting patiently, or not so patiently, for me to update. And thanks especially for your comments and criticisms, even though I probably won't take any advice I haven't specifically asked for into consideration. I myself cannot comment on anyone else's stories because I'm just super-critical about grammar and syntax, and I won't subject anyone to more of my neuroses than I have to. If you noticed, I've only worked on stories during the summer. I've been really busy during the school year, but I'm finally graduating (from what/where, you'll just have to guess) next weekend, so I should have time to sit down and fix/finish this story. Part of the problem is also that every time I walk away and come back, I've thought of hundreds of new plot twists and turns, and I found out the hard way how difficult it can be to write a focused story over such a long time (Incidentally there are parts I've already submitted that I just can't stand now, and they will have to be fixed, too). I should point out that I do have other stories in the works, all in various stages of completion, but like I said, it's best for me to hammer out one complete story in a week than to let it drag on for years, which this one already has. Rest assured, though, I will finish this story over the summer. Thanks again for reading. Ghostwriter


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